Tag: Family

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Book Review Faith Book Review Family Book Review

Book Review: You And Me Forever By Francis and Lisa Chan

Title: You And Me Forever

Author: Francis and Lisa Chan

Genre: Christian/Marriage

Publisher: Claire Love Publishing

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 

I love Francis Chan books. I even have one of them in my top 5 list of all time. And while this book was a great read, I couldn’t give it five stars because this marriage book wasn’t really about marriage. I mean, the book talked about marriage, and it spoke of parenthood, but overall the book was about your relationship with God and how we should focus on the mission of Jesus to go and make disciples.  So when you think of the book in light of that, it was a solid 4-star read.

My Thoughts

I’ve had this book on my list and in my Apple Books library for a while now.  When I was on a Francis Chan binge a year or two ago, I had plans to read it, but then I was ready for something else.  So when my church had a Wives After God small group, and they were reading this book, I signed up.  We did one chapter a week, and usually, that is too slow for me and why I typically fail at book club-type groups. But because this season was a tad bit busy for me and I wanted to do a better job resting, it was actually what I needed.

 

So the big issue with the book.  The fact that it is supposed to be a marriage book.  If you are expecting step-by-step guidance on how to have a better marriage, communicate better, etc., this isn’t the book for you.  Instead, you have seven short chapters that focus on why marriage (and all the things that come with that, like parenting) aren’t about you and your spouse at all.  Everything is about God, the command to make disciples, and remembering that our home is in heaven.

The book starts by explaining that our home is in heaven and how we should keep eternity instead of our temporary homes and relationships in the forefront of our minds.  And by doing that and following God’s Word, you will have a good life and marriage almost by default.  Not trouble-free, since we aren’t promised that.  Chan’s thoughts are that if we focus on doing all we can to get into heaven, get others into heaven, and storing up our treasures for heaven, our marriages will work themselves out if both spouses have the same mindset.  It leaves little room for fighting and misunderstandings.

 

And that is what the book is about.  It’s about first making sure that you have your salvation worked out.  Cause let’s be serious, if you aren’t going to be in heaven with Jesus, there isn’t a point to talk about anything else.  But once you are saved, the Chan’s then focus on working out your salvation daily with sanctification and fearing God.  What are you praying about?  What order are the priorities in your life? Are you reading God’s Word? Are you taking action on what you are reading?  And when you think about what the Bible says about marriage, it starts to make sense.  First, Jesus tells us we won’t be married in heaven.  Then Paul tells us it’s better to be single so you can focus just on God.  And then most of what we hear about marriage after that is about the marriage of the bride (the Church) and the bridegroom (Jesus).  The Bible talks about that union, what it will look like, and how we are to prepare for it.  But if you are like me, your earthly marriage probably doesn’t have anything to do with heaven.

 

So the first four chapters are really about how to individually and together as a couple get connected to God, live out the mission of Christ, and focus on your time in heaven.  You get some pointers on how to do that, and along with Chapter 5, you focus on what the reward looks like when you do all of that.  Then Chapter 6 talks about parenting.  But again, not in light of marriage.  But basically, what you need to do to show your kids that you are following Christ as a couple instead of just telling them they should follow Christ.  Then a nice conclusion ties it all up, telling you to continue the good fight.

The book itself is interactive.  Each chapter is mainly written from Francis Chan’s voice.  Then there is a section that is specifically from Lisa, followed by a conclusion.  Then there is a do something aspect for each chapter.  This section is filled with ideas on what you can do with your spouse to ensure you are living out what the chapter taught you.  There are also plenty of discussion topics as well.  You have the option to buy the accompanying study guide with the book (I did but honestly didn’t finish it).  And there are also videos to go along with each chapter from the Chan’s.  But here is the best part.  You can read this book for free.  If you go to www.youandmeforever.com, you can download the eBook for free!  It’s a gift to your marriage from the Chan’s.

 

So while this wasn’t my favorite book by Francis Chan, and I was a bit thrown off about it not being a marriage book, it was still a solid read regarding what our focus should be daily.  This book made me realize that I don’t spend time thinking about eternity, let alone making all my decisions in light of it.  In my morning prayer time with God, I decided to try and ask Him daily to allow me to impact eternity today.  I will also schedule a sit-down with the hubby and see how our family values can align with God’s mission of saving souls and making disciples.

*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

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Book Review Faith Book Review Family Book Review

Book Review: Kingdom Men Rising by Dr. Tony Evans

Title: Kingdom Men Rising

Author: Dr. Tony Evans

Genre: Christian

Publisher: Bethany House Publishers

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You probably know by now how Dr. Tony Evans has profoundly impacted my life through his ministry. Watching his sermons and reading his books has helped me see how impactful someone can be when they truly read and study the Word of God and then live it out. I was blessed with the opportunity to be on the book release team for Dr. Evans newest book, Kingdom Men Rising. And while I usually don’t read his books geared towards men (I gave Chris Kingdom Men), something told me I had to read this one. Initially, I was reading it to be able to provide support and encouragement to Chris as he walks through life, leading us as a family while he follows Christ. But while reading the first couple of chapters, God reminded me that I am reading this book to support my future sons.

My Thoughts

I’m not sure how many books Dr. Evans has written after Mrs. Evans went to be with the Lord, but I read at least one, God, Himself. And while it was a fantastic book that I would recommend for new believers, there was something different about it from his other books. Reading Kingdom Men Rising, I noticed almost immediately that his writing style returned to match the other books that I’ve read that he has written. Reading the account of him deciding to get up and preach only a day after losing his wife of 49 1/2 years pulled at my emotions. To see Dr. Evans honor God, his wife speaks to how much he truly believes in what the Bible says about God as our comforter. Throughout the book, you see Dr. Evans not only honor his wife in this way, but his children and his father, who he notes is the original kingdom man in his life.

While reading, I felt like I was being let into his innermost thoughts and feelings, especially those about his wife and her last days on earth. I realized that he was gifting us with a piece of their history that we didn’t deserve. Each time, I would take some time to reflect on my marriage and what God has done for us. The trials and struggles. The triumphs and celebrations. As a military spouse, I experience long periods when my husband is gone. Reading Dr. Evans thoughts during one of those seasons really allowed me the opportunity to treasure my life with my husband. 

I’ve always wondered about the background story of how Dr. Evans got started in ministry. This book provided me with the information I was looking for and at the same time provided confirmation for a recent prayer request I’ve had. He was surrounded by men who built him up spiritually and led by example the type of life a Kingdom Man should live. Sprinkled throughout the book, he often speaks of the men that poured into his life and influenced him. But he also talks about those that he poured into and the impact they have had on others’ lives. He outlines the characteristics of what a kingdom man is and what they should do, but he is also giving real-life examples of those living as kingdom men. And we are blessed with plenty of personal examples from Dr. Evans own life.

Dr. Evans probably doesn’t want to hear this since it wasn’t his intent, but there were plenty of nuggets in this book that relate to men and women. I was experiencing a depressive episode one day and started reading. A couple of pages in, and there was this one paragraph that I needed to read. It spoke to my heart, my spirit, the depression. I captured it as a constant reminder. As I read through more of the book, it was like I was keeping a running tally of qualities I already see in my husband, qualities that I will pray he continues to grow in. Then there were items that I knew just being a kingdom disciple myself, I could apply to my life.

One of the things that I loved about this book is the detail of practical application Dr. Evans gives. I’ve noticed a trend lately where people tell you what you need to do but don’t tell you how to do it. For example, when Dr. Evans is explaining the need to change your thought life to overcome strongholds. He doesn’t just end with “take your thoughts captive.” He explains, find God’s thoughts on a matter and align your thinking with His. This may sound simple, but taking your thoughts captive when your thoughts are causing your mental struggle is no easy feat. So to have actual steps to take is extremely helpful. I even had the opportunity to share it with a group of women who were expressing mental struggles. It was easy to translate everything Dr. Evans said and all the biblical references he provided to real life.

Kingdom Men Rising was more than I expected. It didn’t disappoint, and I’m walking away proud of the kingdom man I am married to. I have specific requests that I can go to God for on His behalf. When we are blessed with children, I know exactly what to pray over my sons. I already have plans on rereading the book and gifting it to a few people. I’m encouraged to see a movement of Kingdom Men Rising up in the home, church, and our communities and the impact that will have on our country and world. This is a must-read, and I was happy to give it the five stars it deserved.

As a part of the launch team, I received an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

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Family Finances Resources TRC

April is National Fair Housing Month

One of the things that I wanted my blog to be is a learning resource. I picked the month of April to launch my business because it is a month full of National Recognition that is so closely related to the work that I do. Today I want to recognize the first one.

On April 11th, 1968, one week after the assassination of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, who was monumental in the passing of the 1964 Act, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed an extension to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to include the Fair Housing Act. It prohibits discrimination in the sale, renting, or financing of housing based on race, color, religion, national origin, sex, disability, and family status.

Fair Housing Poster from Hud.gov

While the Act was passed 53 years ago, we know that we still have a long way to go to stand up against discrimination in the housing market. Not only are Blacks and other People of Color disproportionately disadvantaged when it comes to homeownership, we often run into lower appraisal values, not having enough cash for a downpayment (due to lower wages), and not being able to be competitive in a seller’s market.

In 2020, according to Redfin.com, only 44% of Black American’s owned a home compared to 74% of white Americans. A recent story out of California tells the story of the Austin’s and their struggle to obtain homeownership. They had to purchase a home off-market from another Black family just to reach their dream. They then put over $400,000 into the home that was built in the 1960s. They added a new level, replaced the floor and appliances, built a deck, adding in total an additional 1,000 square feet to their property.

When they got it appraised, the older white appraiser valued the property for $989,000, only $100,000 more than the property was previously appraised for BEFORE the renovations. After fighting to get a second appraisal, they decided to trick the system. A white friend of theirs offered to pose as the wife, removed all family photos, and replaced them with her family pictures. That appraisal came in at $1,482,000—about $500,000 more than the one done just a month prior.

The National Association of Realtors says that Black applicants are rejected for loans three times more than white applicants. Is there any surprise that there is so much of a gap in wealth in this country between races? Homeownership is one of the ways to gain generational wealth and legacy, and these facts are just one of the reasons that Black American’s are far behind their white counterparts in the journey to wealth.

If you are a professional, I recommend signing up for the National Fair Housing Training Academy (I am) and doing your part to help fight against discriminatory practices in the housing industry. As a financial counselor, my goal is to help you achieve your dreams, and if homeownership is how that happens, then let’s make it happen! I’ll be sharing more tips and resources over on my social media pages for the business: Instagram and Facebook. Coming soon to our website is a resource and referral list that will include housing professionals to help your dream come true.

“Fair Housing Opens the Doors” video produced by the National Fair Housing Training Academy.

For more information, visit Hud.gov and National Fair Housing Training Academy.

Categories
Faith Family Planning Productivity

Getting My Life Together

There was a meme recently that said, do you ever feel like you want to get your whole life together at 2 am? That’s me.  I consistently think of all the things I forgot to do and all the things I need to do in the middle of the night.  I can’t do this for another month.  I have got to get my life together!

Back in the day, I had it all together.  Or at least I thought I did when I was a planner.  I loved all things planning.  I liked knowing what to expect.  It became like a brain dump for me and allowed me to take stuff out of my mind and put them somewhere before I forgot them.

I remember using the agenda’s they gave you in school from a very early age and usually had a cheap one anytime I was taking college classes.

I graduated to the big leagues of planners when I got my first Erin Condren back in 2013/2014, and I haven’t looked back since when it comes to paper planners.

I also, over the last year or two, have found a love and appreciation for using technology to plan.  My google calendar tends to keep me on schedule with its alerts and reminders.

But as a housewife and a budding entrepreneur, I don’t have a strict schedule that I am forced to adhere to anymore.  That has shaken up my planning routine a bit.  I’m mostly relying on to-do lists (or completed lists) and just don’t feel as productive as I could be.  With me wanting to be intentional with keeping my home and faith a priority while working on my entrepreneurship adventures, I know planning for me is what will help me find the harmony in doing all of those things.

I decided to sit down and plan the month of May.  But I wanted to go a little beyond what I have been doing as of late, which is just writing down appointments, meetings, and webinars.  I looked at what I wanted to accomplish this month:

  • I want to keep home a priority
  • I want to keep my relationship with God a priority
  • I want to make sure our finances are stable
  • I want to cook from what I have in the house already before my next grocery order
  • I want to be more consistent on the blog and social media

 

I knew these would be things that I need to “schedule” in if I wanted to accomplish them.  So I grabbed May’s calendar from my Erin Condren binder system and stared at it.

How do I get this blank calendar to bring me comfort with the five things that I had listed?  Let me break down my thought process for each one and show you what I did.

Keeping Home a Priority

How do I do this? For me, it is making sure our house is clean, and our home has a calming atmosphere and is a sanctuary for us to relax in.

I’ve decided to follow the FlyLady program again when it comes to cleaning and decluttering our home.  So I will use her routines and calendar to help me focus on what needs to be done cleaning wise.

Keeping God #1

The way that I build my relationship with God is by spending time in His Word, praying, and worshiping.  I also attend church each week.

Bible reading and studying is a passion of mine.  I love learning more about God and what His plan is for His children.  For me, this is a daily practice.  At the end of April, I finished my Day by Day Chronological Bible, which is what I was using for my daily reading.  But now that I have read the full Bible (and the NT twice), in less than 12 months, I decided it’s time to really add studying to my routine.

In May, I want to focus on one to two chapters a day for my studying.  I want to allow room for God to truly teach me His Word and see what fruit comes from that knowledge.  I will most likely be using the Dayspring Illustrating Bible.  And because I know I prefer to also get in additional reading, I am following along with Annie F. Downs and reading the four gospels each month, in a different translation.  In May, I am starting with the NASB translation and am just using the YouVersion Bible app.

I want to do better with praying for groups of people.  I currently have a list in my reminders app and want to be more consistent with praying over it.  My list includes The Church (body of Christ, church leaders, and missionaries), Chris and our future children/legacy, family, friends, unbelievers, our nation, and the world.

I also want to go back to the practice of reviewing the sermon and my notes from Sunday.  I use to try and rewatch the message during the week, make sure I didn’t overlook any relevant notes, and then transfer what I learned to my ESV Journaling Bible.  I haven’t done that in a while, and I miss the reinforcement of the message from my pastors.

Keeping Our Money Healthy

If you have seen our budgeting spreadsheet, you probably think it is a beast to maintain.  And while that can be the case, thanks to me doing budget reviews every week, it isn’t that difficult.  In less than 30 minutes, I update it with the previous week’s transactions, have a conversation with Chris, and set our goals and intentions for the next week.

 

We Have Food At Home

I hate meal planning mostly because I cook based on our cravings.  I try to keep a variety of items stocked at the house to make that possible.  But I haven’t been doing a great job lately of making us balanced meals.  And I’ve been stuck on more than one occasion on what I should cook.  So I decided to venture back into meal planning.

Consistency is Key

I have no idea why I struggle so much with this.  Well, I kind of do.

Honestly, I am 75% over social media.  I have worked hard to curate what I have coming into my feeds, but there can still be a lot of junk.  And because I don’t want to see that, I stay away from the apps.  Which is a problem when I love sharing and connecting with others.

And as for my blog?  Perfectionism, my friend.  This is draft post number 46.  Now to be fair, some of those are future projects.  But a lot of them are ideas that I have for a blog post, and during the process of fleshing them out, perfectionism has paralyzed me.

So I need to overcome this by planning out my content for the month and sticking to it.

See What I Did There?

My blog and social media are how I share and connect with people.  I share what I am currently going through and what I am currently working on.  So when it comes to planning out the content for May, I kind of just did that with this post.  My blog and social media posts, in a way, help keep me accountable.  If I know that I want to post what I learned from the sermon on Sunday, I have to be sure I did the review of my notes.  Now, to be clear, I am not doing these things for the blog or social media.  I am doing these things for me and am choosing to share them after the fact in hopes that they help others that may be struggling with finding harmony with all the things they are trying to manage in life.

Finally, since I used my Erin Condren monthly pages as my draft, I went ahead and added these to my Tanisha Rhenáe google calendar.  Now I know what my end goal is and can set up alerts to help me remember.  If you read this post here, you know that I am using time blocking to help make my day more productive.  That means instead of just randomly jumping from task to task, I put like items together and focus on only those items until the next block.  So while the doing of my five goals will be done in either my Homemaking or Admin block, I will use my Content Creation block to build these out for my blog and social media.

Let me know in the comments below what your biggest struggle is with planning?

*I included my Erin Condren referral link in this post.  In addition to you getting $10 off your first purchase, I earn rewards as well!

*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases using the links included in this post.

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Home

Finally Loving Your Home: Cleaning With FlyLady

I talked a bit about creating a homemaking block in my most recent post here on the blog.  While I enjoy cleaning and, even more, a clean home, I can sometimes get in a rut where I’m just tired of cleaning.  But as I mentioned here, I need to get out of it if I want to have my home being a sanctuary for my husband and me.  So I thought back to when I truly enjoyed cleaning last.  And it was a year or two ago when I was following the Fly Lady routine. There are still pieces that I follow to this day, but because I am not doing the whole process, it doesn’t feel the same.

But my problem with the system itself was, it is tough to follow because the details are not in one place.  I mean, her website reminds me of the late 90’s/the early 2000s and is full of items to buy from her. Her technique is to get you to sign up for her email, and she sends you what needs to be done throughout the day. For example, I signed up again for her emails to get started and have already received at least eight emails a day.  And her site says that she averages ten emails a day.  It’s a bit overwhelming.  Especially for a planner like me, that would like to plan in advance.  I’ve scanned her site, and it’s a bit all over the place to find what you need.  So let me try and break down how it works.

Update: This post got long! I was thinking about breaking it up until multiple posts and decided that defeats the purpose of having everything in one place.  So while this lengthy post will be published as one, let’s focus on one topic at a time.  Join me on my Instagram, where I will post our focus for the day, and let’s talk about it!

FLYing Lessons

The site tells you to start here. FLYing is all about “Finally Loving Yourself,” which she describes as having “peace of mind, pride in your home, and a passion for living.”  In the emails I mentioned above, you get what is called Missions for your daily Zone.  But wait, before you do that, you focus on what she calls Baby Steps.  And the first one is this: Shine Your Sink.  Now, this is a practice that I have followed forever.  Before I go to bed, I do what I call “Shutting Down the Kitchen,” and that includes making sure the kitchen sink is not only empty, but I scrub it out with a powdered cleaner and dish liquid. This is the same process that Fly Lady calls Shine Your Sink, and she outlines a 12 step process to do it.

Next, she tells you to Get Dressed to Shoes.  That means to get dressed for the day, including wearing shoes.  And laced up shoes at that.  She insists that doing this prevents you from slipping them off and lounging around.  I disagree with this.  I mean, I understand it’s much harder to take a nap with the sneakers on, but if I am tired, those shoes won’t stop me.  I’ll take them off or leave my feet dangling off the couch or bed.  And I hate wearing shoes in my house.  I have thought about buying a pair just for inside (slippers or slides).  I do believe that getting up and getting dressed helps motivate you, though.  When I transitioned from working in Corporate to working from home, I went from wearing skirts that I loved most days to wearing 50’s style dresses.  I won’t call them house dresses because that reminds me of nightgowns.  But something about wearing the dresses gave me pride in what I was doing from home, and that included my cleaning.  Now thanks to one too many Krispy Kreme donuts, I can’t fit most of my dresses anymore, but with the seasons changing, I plan on getting back to wearing dresses again.  Maybe just a little bit more flowing.  But I will miss my basketball shorts and leggings.

Baby Steps

Now we are finally getting to the rest of those Baby Steps she talked about.  Fair warning, clicking on that link doesn’t get you to the baby steps without having to click on another link.  Which appears to contain the same info from the first link AND the info about Baby Step #1, which was Shining Your Sink all to just, redirect you back to the link I provided you up there.  See what I mean about the struggle with finding out the information? And we haven’t even started cleaning anything but the sink.  Oh, and you have to click a new link to get to each new Baby Step, but you then have to go back to the first page to get to the next link.  But I’m going to help you out by listing the rest below.  Now each Baby Step corresponds with a day.  So it will take you 31 days to get through all of them.  She says this is to help you establish small routines, build consistency, and to take your time enjoying the process.

  1. Shine Your Sink
  2. Get Dressed to Lace-Up Shoes
  3. Put Out A New Dish Towel Each Night – This is something I try to do each night using these towels.  I think the actual step for this day is to review the website, but I’m saving you 10 hours.
  4. Post Sticky Notes on Bathroom Mirror and Kitchen Sink – This is to remind you to do #1 and #2.  And is the beginning of what she calls your control journal.  More on that later.
  5. Turn Negative Thoughts into Positive Phrases – If you find yourself saying you don’t deserve a clean home, seeing this list should help.
  6. Take 2 Minutes to Clear a Hot Spot – Find that one spot in your house that stays cluttered, set a timer, and clear it.
  7. Pick Out Your Clothes At Night – I think everyone recognizes that this helps mornings go smoother.
  8. Create Your Control Journal – She recommends a binder and some paper and to now break Steps 1-7 into a morning and evening routine, with #6 happening in both.
  9. Five Minute Room Rescue – Spend 5 minutes clearing a path in your worst room.
  10. 15 Minutes: Pick Up Trash and Rest – Set a timer for 15 minutes, gather all the trash you can, and take it out.  Set a time for another 15 minutes and rest.
  11. Inspiration In 15 Minutes – Take 15 minutes to write some inspirational quotes.
  12. Delete Her Emails – It’s been less than five days since I signed up, and I have 30 emails from her.  If she averages ten a day as she says, you should be deleting 120 emails on Day 12.  This is ridiculous.  She doesn’t like clutter but is providing digital clutter.
  13. Do The Mission for the Day – Now for some cleaning.  Take a break here and jump to the next section on Zones and Missions.
  14. Time for a Calendar – Find a place for a calendar (high traffic area) and get one up.  We’ve used this one for a couple of years now.
  15. Make Your Bed – Add this to your morning routine.
  16. Back to the Website – She wants you to read what others are saying about the system.
  17. Set a Bedtime and Stick to It – Don’t wait until it’s time for bed to do your evening routine either.  Start right after dinner
  18. 11 Commandments – But wait…another list. Luckily this one is mostly a repeat of what she has already told you with additions like don’t be distracted, do one thing at a time, and pamper yourself.
  19. No Rushing – This one was hard to figure out as she had another testimonial in there.  But don’t rush, slow down and set a time if you need to.
  20. Laundry – Start a load of laundry at night, put it in the dryer when you wake up, fold/hang, and put away as part of your morning routines.
  21. Clean Out One Drawer – So technically, this day was to read more things on her website, but she also said to clean out one drawer for each family member to make it easier to put laundry away.
  22. Office in a Bag – Work on building your control journal and keep everything you need to pay bills, make a grocery list, etc. in one portable place.  Just in case you need more to do, here are 15 steps to create your control journal.
  23. Afternoon Routine – Start dinner in the afternoon.  Plan your meals a week at a time and get them added to your calendar.
  24. Swish and Swipe – Swish the toilet bowl with the brush and wipe out the sink and clean the countertops with a rag.
  25. More Reading – Read some more of her website, but if you have more than one bathroom, use a different one each time you need to go and do the swish and swipe.
  26. Never Behind – A reminder to start wherever you are, even if you get behind.  I also noticed she added lunch and to drink plenty of water to the afternoon routines.
  27. Dinner – Prepare for dinner either the night before or in the morning.  Remove anything from the freezer you need, and don’t forget your side dishes.
  28. Take Care of You – Set a timer for 15 minutes and read.  Remember to eat good food, drink your water, take breaks, and get some rest.
  29. Weekly Pamper Mission – It looks like the idea for the day was a testimonial from a reader who got a back rub from her hubby after a relaxing bath.  Breakfast was added to the morning routine.  Water, meds, and vitamins were added to both morning and evening routines.
  30. Important Dates – Look at the calendar for next month and see what important dates need to be planned for.  This is also where you learn about your weekly plan, which is more routines.  Head to that section below to learn more.
  31. Don’t Worry – Another reminder to not get overwhelmed with all of the things she has you doing.

Zones

Zones are different parts of the house that she assigns you to clean each week.  There are five zones, and ideally, you would hit them all in one month.  The goal is to spend 15 minutes a day cleaning your zone based on the mission you are given (see next section).  Here are the zones and when she says they would be cleaned:

  1. Entrance/Front Porch/Dining Room – the first few days of the month until Sunday
  2. Kitchen – the first full week of the month
  3. Main Bathroom/Extra Room – the second full week of the month
  4. Master Bedroom/Bath/Closet – the third full week of the month
  5. Living Room/Den/TV Room – the last few days of the month, starting on Monday

 

 

Missions

Missions are your daily to-dos for the day.  Each week she tells you one mission to do each day.  It doesn’t appear that this information is laid out in advance anywhere, so you only get one week at a time.  Here are last weeks (the current weeks is here), for example:

Monday

Spend 15 minutes getting rid of 27 things from the Main Bathroom.  Do the same in the Extra Room.

Tuesday

Shine your tub/shower in the Main Bathroom.  Set your timer for 15 minutes and get the guest bed ready for company.  Wash the sheets if needed.

Wednesday

Wash your Main Bathroom rugs, shower curtains, and accessories.  Dust in the Extra Room, ensuring you get those cobwebs in the corner.

Thursday

Toss old or unused cosmetics, perfumes, and other hygiene products.  For the Extra Room, either spend 15 minutes getting rid of 27 more things or sweep/vacuum.

Friday

Clean the counters and sink in the Main Bathroom.  Take 15 minutes to relax.

Weekly Plan

Monday’s – Weekly Home Blessing for an hour

This includes tossing old magazines, changing the sheets, emptying the trash, vacuuming, mop kitchen and bathroom, clean mirrors and doors, and dust.

Tuesday’s – Free Day

Water and fertilize plants.  Spend 15 minutes in the current Zone

Wednesday’s – Zone Cleaning and Partial Desk Time

Finish zone cleaning and weekly cleaning. Clean the fridge. Write thank-you notes. Work on the menu and grocery list for next week.  Balance checkbook.

Thursday’s – Grocery and Errand Day

Make sure your menu is ready for grocery shopping. Confirm the list before you leave.  Go grocery shopping and run errands.

Friday’s – Paperwork and Misc.

Date night. Get food from the freezer for next week.  File papers. Write letters and cards. Cleanout purse.  Mend clothes and polish shoes. Pet care. Clean out car and check fluids. Clean laundry room.

Saturday’s – Family Fun Day

Sunday’s – Renew Your Spirit Day

 

 

But Wait There Is More

But I am not about to make this post any longer.  I found her detailed before bed routine, morning routines, weekly checklist (not to be confused with the weekly plan), and finally, the detailed cleaning list. The list alone is nine pages long.

Seriously it is almost easier to check her emails every day to figure out what to do.  She sends what is called a flight plan that gives you the daily checklist, challenges, and missions.

My house needs a good deep spring cleaning, so I am going to take a look at everything else and determine if all of this information is truly needed.  Or maybe I can see if I can figure out a way to simplify this or find simpler systems.

Look forward to more post about cleaning our home as we make this happen.  Have you heard about Fly Lady? Tell me what you think below.

*I’ve used my referral link in this post for Grove.  This gives you a 5-piece gift set for first-time users.

*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases using the links included in this post.

Categories
Home Productivity

Rhenáe’s Randoms: Failing At Time Management

Failing at Time Management, Routines, and Schedules

I had a much-needed therapy appointment this week.  I advocate for therapy on the regular, but in this season, it is needed!

I had a significant life change happen recently, and I’m not adjusting well. And because God knows what I need, my therapist stressed the importance of me creating a schedule, sticking to a routine, and doing something that helps me relax or brings me joy each day.

Then she said something that mimicked the same advice a friend gave me a little while ago.

You don’t have to schedule your routines necessarily but instead, know that you need to get them done and accomplish them when you can.

Why does this simple advice seem so profound to me?

I want to say I was this way before, but when I felt myself losing control, I recognized that I tried to hold onto what I had control of a bit tighter. And that’s when planning stopped being fun for me, and it was a struggle to just get through the day.  And in this recent season of my life, my routines have gone away completely.

But now that I’m focusing on making my home a sanctuary, I recognize the need to establish those routines again. Those routines, in turn, improve my time management and productivity.  With me starting on my journey to entrepreneurship, I can’t add more to my plate without managing what I currently have on it.   Which calls to mind two Bible verses:

‘Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and whoever is unrighteous in very little is also unrighteous in much. So if you have not been faithful with worldly wealth, who will trust you with what is genuine? And if you have not been faithful with what belongs to someone else, who will give you what is your own? ‘ Luke 16:10-12 CSB

‘He must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?) ‘ 1 Timothy 3:4-5 CSB

I’ve started to take some steps to help me with this and will be looking into doing some things that I know have worked in the past.

I’ve been using technology.

I know you are probably like, didn’t you just get off of a digital detox?  Yes, and I still have most of my notifications off in this season.  But I’ve been using my Reminders app (on the iPhone).  I created many different lists and just started to add things to it that I need to do.  And as I think of things, I go and add it to my lists.  This helps me eliminate decision fatigue and I never have to spend time worrying about what needs to be done.

  • To-Do List – Anything that pops into my head that needs to be done.  Then I go and schedule when I want it done using my Erin Condren planner or Google Calendar.
  • Affirmations – If you caught my post about this, you know I had some reservations, but it’s biblical! So I’ve created some.  Or when I hear some that I love, I add.  I have some set up for me to say daily, weekly, and monthly.
  • Morning/Afternoon/Evenings Routines – Things I would like to do at that time of day or things I typically forget to do (like taking meds/vitamins).
  • Weekly/Monthly Routines – These are more house and Bambi girl related.  So I know which days to wash my comforter, change out Bambi’s litterbox, or even self-care items like exfoliating or doing a mask based on when I did them last.
  • Blog/SM Post – A loose schedule of what I would like to post.
  • Spirituality – Reminders to pray, express gratitude, repent/confess.  Reminders of different types of Bible reading I could do if I am in a rut (a Psalm, a chapter in Proverbs, a New Testament read, an Old Testament read, or scripture writing).
  • Prayer – Requests and topics I want to be sure I am covering each day/week.
  • Business/Personal Development – Whenever I come across a course or interesting blog/person that I want to look into, they get added here.  This mostly comes out of recent summits I have been attending.

Time Blocking

This is something that I need to start doing again.  Lately, I have been waking up and just randomly tackling my to-do list around meetings/calls I may have scheduled until it is time to start on dinner.  It’s annoying me, not to mention, I am not all that productive.  With time blocking, you group like tasks together, so you aren’t having to switch to something completely different and lose your groove.  For example, I would have the following blocks:

  • Homemaking Block – laundry, cleaning, and all things home related
  • Learning Block – This would be when I want to take courses, do webinars, do research, etc.
  • Writing Block – This could be journaling or writing for the blog.
  • Content Creation Block – Creating my social media post or creating printables to help me with my routines
  • Admin Block – Emails, budget review, and planning.

Obviously, there are other areas that aren’t covered here like my faith life, self-care, cooking, etc.  But when I start to test this out, I will make updates as needed.  Keep an eye out on my Instagram because that is where I will share day by day things I will be doing and learning.

Where I’m Winning

One thing I can say that I have been doing great at is ending my day.  Typically when Chris lets me know he is on his way home, is when I shut it down for the day and switch into wifey mode.  I start cooking dinner and try to finish any cleaning that I may have started early in the day.  And then, when Chris is home, I focus on spending time with him.  This is a direct result of some of the conversations we have been having in our marriage and me wanting to be more present with him.

I feel like relying on my reminders to help me with my routines and time blocking will help me set a baseline so I can start focusing on home as my top priority again.  I’m going to give this a try and see how it goes.  Let me know in the comments below if you have been able to stick to your routines and schedules.  I would love to hear some of your tips.

*I’ve included my Erin Condren referral link in this post.  This gives you $10 off your first purchase and I get reward points in return.

Categories
Family Home

Year of Health – April: Home

If you read last month’s post, you saw that I struggled to choose between two topics: marriage and the Word of God.  I decided to do both.  Well, I think focusing on both of those things allowed me to naturally lead into what I chose as my topic for April: Home.

I know what you are thinking, “Tanisha…we are all trapped at home, so that’s an easy one.”  Well, first off, you aren’t trapped at home.  You are safe at home.  Home should be a sanctuary for you.  More on that later.

Second off, I am a hardcore homebody.  I’ve always been a homebody, but in 2017/2018, I forced myself to go out and be more extraverted and do more things, and I promise you I am still recovering from that.  😂

 

So when I returned home from my sabbatical, I struggled to leave the house even for the simplest of tasks.  I ordered my groceries online.  Amazon became my BFF again.  My hubby made sure I had gas in the car.

And it wasn’t until my therapist told me I need to get outside the house more that I became intentional about going to the store more frequently or helping friends with their dog a few times a week.  But my preference was still being home.  It also helps that I am a housewife.  I have heard from a few other homebodies who are saying now that we aren’t able to go anywhere even if we wanted to, they realized that they aren’t much of a homebody. That is not me at all.  Yes, I would like to go to the grocery store when I want, but not much has changed for me. (I recognize the blessing in this)

But what I noticed is that now that we are forced to stay at home, a lot of people are having a hard time just being in their homes.  It’s almost like they don’t really like their home much.  And that breaks my heart.

So it made me think, how can I help people see that they should love their home more?  What is it about our homes that make us want to be elsewhere? Our responsibilities? Chores? Our housemates?

When I made the transition to housewife, I struggled with the idea that I now had increased responsibility at the house even though I wasn’t the only one living there.

My mindset didn’t change until an older friend shared with me that when she is doing tasks around the house, she prays while doing them and is grateful for having them to do.  While she is doing laundry, she is thanking God for clothes her family wears.  While washing dishes, she thanks God for the food that they get to eat.

Honestly, it made me feel ungrateful.  The same things I complained about were things that I prayed for at one point in time.  I made the switch to being grateful for all that I had, but since I’ve been back from my sabbatical, I’ve been slacking a little bit.

So last month, when focusing on the Word of God and my marriage, it naturally led me to wonder, what could I do to show my gratefulness and thanksgiving to God better?  What could I do to show my husband that I love and appreciate him, mainly because he is the one in our family that goes out every day and works?  And it all comes back to making my home the sanctuary I knew it could be.  Which automatically makes me think of my favorite verse in Titus.

‘the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.’ Titus 2:3-5 NKJV

I love the NKJV version of this verse because it explicitly says homemakers.  Other translations say workers at home, keep a good house, makers of a home [where God is honored], keepers at home, work in their homes, taking care of their household, busy at home, and working at home. But I’ve also come across another verse recently that has helped me as well.

‘But we encourage you, brothers and sisters, to do this even more, to seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may behave properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone. ‘ 1 Thessalonians 4:10b-12 CSB

So for April, I am going to do my part to be thankful and fall in love with my home again.  I’m going to make sure that it is a place that my husband can be proud to come to.  And to focus on removing a lot of the noise that surrounds our lives and to lead a simpler and quiet life.  If you know me or followed my social media for a while, you may know that I love routines, cleaning, and organization.  I will be showcasing how I use all three of those to achieve my goal for this month.  But because I am a researcher at heart and love seeing how other people do things, I will be checking out and trying different methods.  I hope that you join me this month in curating your home and setting the atmosphere that you want.  Leave me a comment down below what you love most about your home.

 

 

Categories
Faith Family

Rhenáe’s Randoms: Digital Detox

I made a post yesterday to show my highlighting from my reading of 1st Corinthians and mentioned that I think I need a digital detox.  And I decided today to take that digital detox.  I wanted to write a bit about why I came to that decision just in case you have been feeling the way I have.

As most of the world knows, we are currently in the middle (maybe?) of the COVID-19 pandemic.  With that comes the following:

  • constant news updates (almost every half hour)
  • its the topic of EVERY conversation
  • every part of life seems to be impacted
  • negative feelings and emotions about what we are doing/not doing with this time

 

Can I just say I am over it all?  This virus is serious yet instead of focusing on praying for the sick, the family of those that have passed away, or those impacted, I am just complaining (and hearing complaints).  As a Christian, my fear should not be in what’s happening around me.  My faith should be shining through in moments like this.  People should be able to turn to the body of Christ for light. (I know there has been a thing recently about not telling people how they should feel and what they should be doing.  While I agree with that for most things, I do know that the Bible tells us to do the beforementioned in times like this, so I won’t stop saying those things.  Even if our flesh isn’t allowing us to do it at the moment.)

So after a particularly moody week, I decided just to pull back from what is causing me so much angst and turn towards what will have me keeping my eyes focused on Jesus (Hebrews 12v.2).  Here is what I will personally be doing this week.

  • unplugging from ALL social media (I will be deleting the apps to remove temptation)
  • disabling all notifications for news apps or any other apps that are delivering COVID updates
  • not reading or responding to messages, calls or emails unless they are emergencies (emergency means an illness, death or prayer request for everyone else besides my husband)
  • spend more time reading and studying my Bible
  • journaling to God
  • praying more
  • writing (I’ve learned that the more I am focused on God, the more my creative juices flow)
  • reading and learning (my leisure activities)
  • spend as much time outside as possible

I hope that you are able to unplug for a bit this week in whatever way that looks like for you!

Update:

I typed the above part of this post this morning before I watched our church service. (Don’t judge me.)  And I just want to point out how good God is and how I love that He will confirm and affirm for us when we are doing something right.  Today’s message was obviously about Palm Sunday and Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem in John 12.  But that triumphal entry would not have been possible without the triumphal tragedy that happened with Lazarus’ death in John 11.  Pastor Tim made comparisons between that time and what is happening now.

He gave two paradoxical statements:

John 11v.5,6 “Jesus loved…He stayed”

John 11v.14,15 “Lazarus is dead…I am glad”

Here are some points from the message that spoke to me.

John 12v.16 Sometimes when you are going through things, you won’t understand until after it is over.

John 11 – The triumphal entry of chapter 12 starts here with Lazarus’ death

v.4 – This sickness with not end in death.

v. 5 – Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus

v. 6 – because of that love; so/therefore He stayed for two more days (He doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want because He has something greater in store for us. Ephesians 3:20)

v. 14 Lazarus is dead (remember v.4 tells us this will not end in death, not that he won’t go through death)

v. 15 I am glad…so that you may believe. (There is purpose.)

v. 35 Jesus wept. (Jesus had feelings and expressed them.  But He was still glad.  We need to learn to navigate faith in feelings)

v. 45 Therefore, many of the Jews who came to Mary and saw what he did believed in him.

John 12

v. 9 Then a large crowd of the Jews learned he was there. They came not only because of Jesus but also to see Lazarus, the one he had raised from the dead. (the same group from chapter 11)

v. 12 The next day, when the large crowd that had come to the festival heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, they took palm branches and went out to meet him. They kept shouting: “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord — the King of Israel!” (this would not have been possible if the tradegy in chapter 11 didn’t happen)

v. 27 Jesus again expresses His feelings for a situation that must happen.

Philippians 1 (Paul tells us about his time in prison)

v. 12 – what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel

v. 14 because of my chains

2nd Corinthians 12 (Paul speaks about his unanswered prayer)

v. 7 I was given a thorn in my flesh

v. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me (another prayer not answered it seems)

v. 9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (the reason the prayer is not answered.  God’s glory!)

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities (NKJV) (Paul’s response)

v. 10 I take pleasure in my infirmities (Paul is choosing to take pleasure)

Y’all God is so good.  Even through everything that is going on right now.  God will use all of this for His glory.  Continue to lean into God during this time. “Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure – pressed down, shaken together, and running over – will be poured into your lap.” – Luke 6v.26  Here is a verse that is bringing me comfort right now:

His voice shook the earth at that time, but now he has promised, Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens. This expression, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of what can be shaken — that is, created things — so that what is not shaken might remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful. By it, we may serve God acceptably, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. – Hebrews 12:26-29 CSB

I’m praying for you!

Categories
Faith Family Marriage

In The Middle of a Hard Marriage

When I settled on marriage as one of my March themes for Year of Healthy, I had no intention of actually writing about it.  I mentioned that it was extremely personal, and I hadn’t been released to from God or my husband.  Then one weekend, while talking with Chris, we were going over how we both have had some wins lately.  In our marriage and out of our marriage.  We recognized that it was because of God and openly gave Him praise.  Then I started to think about some of the advice I’ve been given throughout our marriage.  What worked and what didn’t work.   I thought about the research I did when I was struggling and what I found and what I didn’t find.  One of the things that I did not see was someone that was in the middle of difficulties and what they did.  So many people gave advice multiple years removed from their struggles.  The frustrating part would be, when they reminisced about having a difficult time, but couldn’t tell you how they overcame them.  I vividly remember only two people that were able to give me advice on what they did (I will mention that these two people, we look to as wise counsel, and they have sat with us multiple times, mostly individually).  So after talking to Chris about that, I told him I wanted to share our “in the middle.”  He gave me his blessing, and I believe, that, and the fact that this even popped into my mind, was God’s way of saying do it.  I will say this will obviously be written from my perspective and thoughts.  Chris will read it before it’s published (as he does any post where he is mentioned, or the information may be sensitive to us – like when finance was my topic).  My goal is to write in such a way that I don’t have to remove anything.

Very Little Background

Today, we are celebrating eight years of marriage.  In the midst of 2019, I would have told you that each year was getting harder. Before marriage, I was someone who was driven, strong-willed, and a planner.  I knew exactly how I wanted my life to go, and I followed that plan.  And expected it to continue when I got married.  But the first three years, disrupted that plan.  Now to be fair, I want to point out that we had some outside factors that impacted our marriage that we could not prevent.  The first three years were lived in a blur. Those first three years, we were in survival mode and didn’t have time to have problems.  Once things settled, though, that is when our problems started.  The next five years were hell because we refused to deal with those earlier issues or communicate at all.

But I also thought I knew what was right.  That plan I created?  Even though things didn’t go that way, I expected us to get back on track.  And when it didn’t happen, I focused on other things.  But because I wasn’t successful at being a wife, I started questioning every other role in my life.  I eventually lost who I was.  Now, this wasn’t at the fault of my husband.  More so from what I exposed myself to.  Other people and marriages that I was trying to mimic ours around.  Things that I wanted to do that were discouraged. Somethings I didn’t want to do, that was pushed on me. I was so unhappy that I was willing to change anything.  So I tried to do what I saw people who appeared to be happy do.  This is the dangerous part of building a community.  I got to a point where I couldn’t take any of it anymore.  If you have read some of my previous posts, you will know that in 2019, I left for what I call a sabbatical.  During that time, I strengthened my relationship with God and dived into His Word.  I focused on me.  I had to work through all of this when I realized I didn’t know who I was anymore.  I couldn’t tell you what I liked.  And what I could come up with (for example reading), I hadn’t done in ages.  It was time for a change, so I started working on me.

But I Can Change Him

Now, some advice that I have been given a bunch of times was I can’t change Chris.  And I tried to—a lot. I fought against this advice because I wasn’t the problem.  He was, and he had all types of issues to work out. It took me a while, but I realized that this was toxic thinking.  Because I was trying to make myself out to be perfect. I was also speaking horribly over my life partner. And let’s be real, the problems in our marriage, clearly showed that HIS issues were really OUR issues.  So all of the years, I spent trying to get him to change was wasted.  Because guess what? You can’t change another person.  Well, you kind of can, but we will get to that in a second.  But one thing you can for sure change is yourself.  Give me a moment to explain because if you were like me, you are probably yelling at your screen, saying, “I am not the problem!”

After a million times trying to change Chris, I gave up.  It was exhausting; I was drained; I was tired.  I decided to become selfish.  But in a good way. I went searching for things that bought me joy.  Because of my personality, a lot of that ended up being self-improvement things.  I was reading again.  I was listening to podcasts.  What I was watching on T.V. was either educational or funny.  Now, to be completely honest,  this was shortly after a time where God was convicting me on the useless things I allowed to come into my spirit.  I wasn’t listening to secular music.  I wasn’t watching movies with a bunch of cursing and sex scenes.  But I want to be clear that although this is something that God convicted me on, it ended up helping me find me and what I enjoyed again. I also focused on how each thing could be applied to my life and what changes I could make because of what I was taking in.  This became a big part of why I created this blog and what I try and showcase.  How I saw things and thought about things was changing.  What I worried and stressed over was changing.  And then I realized, maybe how I was handling my marriage was wrong.  So my prayer became, God, how can I become the wife you need me to be for Chris?  I finally realized that Chris wasn’t going to change.  But I could. I was already starting to see what focusing on me was doing. What would happen if instead of doing this for me, I did it for my marriage? My relationships with others? My community?  I started to focus on being a better person for others after I took the time to focus on me.

That’s Great And All But What About My Marriage

Now our marriage didn’t magically become better.  I had moments where I slipped up.  Things were still pretty rough.  But after one particularly bad argument, we were told to do somethings that I think added to the work I was already doing.  We were told to do a daily devotional together.  And for Chris to pray out loud for me every day.  We were giving some other things to do, but those two things are what we were told to start with that we are currently doing.  We are doing the Kingdom Marriage Devotional by Tony Evans (I’m also reading the book on my own).  The devotional is formated in a brief 1 1/2 page devotional, three application questions, and a prayer.  Specifically, the questions have allowed us to be open and honest and communicate with each other about things that are important to our marriage.  Things that we had long forgotten about or just didn’t seem relevant to each other.  This paved the way for conversations that came from our answers, us sharing our concerns, and just being able to talk again.  It was a safe space to say, “this is the problem I have, and I would like to work through it.”  We always add to the prayer that Dr. Evans gives and try to cover things that we spoke about in our answers.  Chris also prays over me before he leaves for work.  This has made me feel loved and appreciated. We have started to dream again and talk about goals.  The important part is we are back communicating.

We are a long way from our problems being fixed.  We still have to do work every single day. But we see fruit from this.  In our marriage and our individual lives.  I think this is because we finally found the right order to things (thanks to the book).  My husband had to come under submission to Christ as the head of our household.  Not saying that wasn’t done previously, but it wasn’t done with intentionality and wholeheartedly.  At the same time (and that part is essential), I had to come under the submission of my husband.  Now I have always believed in the husband being the head of the household.  But my actions didn’t always show this.  I mentioned I was a strong-willed and driven person.  So I thought I knew best and didn’t honestly want to hear my husband’s opinion.  This was wrong in so many ways, but mainly because we are in a partnership, and I shouldn’t discount his thoughts and suggestions.  I was, also, 100 times nicer and more accepting of other people’s views and opinions outside my home.  But what I have learned from this is, the more I come under actual submission under Chris, the more apparent it is that we really are in this together.  He isn’t trying to rule me.  He listens to my ideas, and we, as a couple, create a solution.

Speak Life and Praise God

Changing my thought life and what I speak, also helped a ton.  I wrote about affirmations and manifesting before, but I started to put this into action.  I began to talk to Chris like the man and husband I knew he could be through Christ.  I spoke positively about our marriage.  I spoke scripture over us.  I asked God to let me be a wife that Chris can love, and he be the husband that I could respect. (Ephesians 5:33)  Allow us to be indeed one flesh.  (Genesis 2:24) Allow us to fulfill our marital duties to each other. (1 Corinthians 7:3).  I also spoke some specific scripture over the goals we had together and individually.  And actually, in my Bible reading now, I specifically look for things that I can turn into prayers and affirmations.  Characteristics of people that God found righteous.  Verses that speak to our identity in Christ.  So…many…proverbs.  I was previously one of those people that was making prayer so hard, and therefore, I struggled.  But God’s Word is so full of things that we can pray over ourselves and our loved ones.  This has made such a huge difference in how I have felt, how I look at situations, and how I handle things.  I am still not 100%, but I’ve come a long way, and it’s important to acknowledge that.

Lastly, it is important to give praise and honor to God for what He is doing in our marriage and our lives.  I make it a point to thank Him daily (multiple times a day really) for what He is doing.  Even if that particular day was terrible, I still thank Him for the work He is doing in our marriage and lives.  This frequently leads to me being thankful for other things and talking to God about what He is doing and His attributes.  I never want to forget who it was that made this happen.  Who allowed us to be able to do the work.  I know for me specifically, when I turned to build my relationship and foundation with God, and then when we brought Him into our marriage, mountains moved.  And to think, it started with me realizing that no, I couldn’t change him, but God could if He saw fit.  Thank God that He ended up changing us both.

Tl;dr? Marriage is hard.  We are in the middle of one now.  Here is what we are doing:

*Get closer to God.  Get selfish.  Focus on you and start doing what brings you joy.

*Don’t mimic other marriages.

*Pray about how YOU can change and do better

*Do a daily devotional with your husband.  Preferably, one with questions.

*Have your husband pray over you, out loud, each day.

*Get your house in order, and both of you come under submission: Christ -> Husband -> Wife

*Speak life into your husband and pray scripture over them.

*Give praise and honor to God along the way.

Categories
Family

Rhenáe’s Randoms: 3/14/20

This post is not about that virus!  But it accelerated my plans a little bit, so I wanted to share.

Background

If you follow me here or on social media, you know that for February, my Year of Healthy theme was going Plant-Based. And while it didn’t continue through March, I decided instead of heading to the grocery store, I was going to eat and cook based on what we had at the house.  After a ton of eating out and ordering in, of course, cause I was tired of cooking! But sometime in February, we cleaned out our pantry to reorganize it.  We trashed anything that was expired.  Took stock of what we were low on and added them to our grocery list for the future.  Chris and I also talked about things he wishes we kept on hand that he liked to eat.  Of course, we need to find a balance of healthy foods.  But it started me thinking about what should be in my pantry?  What should I always have on hand?  I planned to potentially talk about this in a future Year of Healthy post where I focus on food again or maybe concentrate on my home.  I added it to my “do later” list.  Cleaning out the pantry showed me what I had on hand, and I knew we had a good amount of meat and dairy in the freezer to use up.  So we were good to go for a while.

Challenges

However, I am also dealing with a couple of problems that might make this a challenge.  First, I have a medical condition that requires me to know exactly what goes into my body to prevent flare-ups.  I am still learning what I can and cannot eat.  While I have eliminated most processed foods, some regular foods can still be tricky.  Secondly, Chris is a picky eater.  Before February, I would have told you he hates all things healthy, but he tore up most of the vegan meals I made.  But his preference is processed foods.  The opposite of me.  I need to find the balance of what foods to keep on hand that he will eat and foods that are good for us.  Lastly, I hate wasting food.  I want to be able to rotate out the items because having to trash things that have expired hurts my heart.  Pantry and freezers items tend to have a longer shelf life, so I wanted to plan out what we could buy, keep for a while, and the best time to replace it.  Currently, I am doing better about not wasting my perishable items because I am going to the grocery store more often and am learning to buy what I need to get me to the next trip only.

What Changed?

So here it is, March 13th (yesterday), and since I’ve been on a cooking strike, Chris and I have been relying heavily on what we have on hand.  And our kitchen was starting to look a little bare…in the middle of a virus pandemic where people are panicking and stockpiling like martial law is on its way and we won’t be able to leave our house for months.  I get it.  People handle these situations in different ways.  And thanks to consistent time with God, therapy appointments, and St. John’s Wort, I am feeling pretty well despite all of this…while I stay in my house.  (BTW #SocialDistancing is now my practice for life)  But I usually am consistent with heading to the grocery store and staying stocked up, so I was starting to get a bit concerned.  I mean, we are finishing up week 11 of the year, and I have already gone to the grocery store 15 times (not including Amazon deliveries).  So to be running low on essentials and not being able to find them, it’s a bit annoying. I got what I could, said a prayer for the rest, and started planning.

What’s Next?

Staying prepared means you do not have to get prepared.  I know this well enough as a military wife and a Floridian who has survived a few hurricane seasons.  So I decided to hit up YouTube and IG to see who could help me with this.  One person I love is Jordan Page from Fun, Cheap and Free, and she had a video on what you should store at home.  She recommends to slowly start with a stockpile of 3 months worth of items you would need to survive (food, water, supplies).  Buy 1 for now and 2 for later when things go on sale.  Doing this allows you to rotate through your items without stocking up and going too crazy.  I will note that she appears to be following her denomination of Christianity, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and how they recommend staying prepared.  I’ve checked it out, and it is pretty solid advice, but Jordan has it packaged in a way that anyone can use it.  Here are some posts of hers that I enjoyed:

Emergency Prep and Food Storage

Grocery Shopping on a Budget

Kitchen Staples

So while, at this very moment, I can’t do much about the essentials I ran out of that the store didn’t have stocked (like beans), I was able to make a decent grocery trip yesterday.  I built a list of items that we should keep stocked.  I added the things that we consistently eat.  Between grocery apps and circulars, I will pay attention to sale prices to know when to purchase again and stock up (Remember buy 1 for now and 2 for later.  Let’s save food for the rest of the world.).  Tracking this information also lets me know when the best time to buy these items is as well.  I’ve created a list of things I should buy every week (perishable items like milk, eggs, and spinach) and what I should buy every month (potatoes, rice, etc.).

This also goes beyond my kitchen and into our household products and cleaning supplies.  Guys, when this pandemic hit, we had four rolls of toilet tissue to our name.  I knew I was going to the store soon, so I wasn’t anxious about getting that low.  Until I got there, and there were zero paper products.  Talk about being concerned for a second.  But then I laughed and said, “God, we need toilet tissue.  I trust that you will be able to make that happen before we run out.”  Do you know what happened?  Chris called before he came home today and said he stopped at the store and they had toilet tissue, did I want him to grab some?  So he did.  We grabbed a big pack to get us through and left the rest for others.  Because I trust that when I need more, either this thing will be over or God will provide.  This faith has been years in the making, by the way.  Two years ago, I would have had a breakdown and cried about this.  Progress.  So while I know this is a scary time for many, I recommend using this time to plan and prepare.  Hurricane season is right around the corner.  Something like this may happen again.  Heck, a personal emergency could happen.  It’s best to stay prepared.  Let me know in the comments what you consider a staple item to keep on hand at all times!  Stay safe!