Tag: Family

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Faith Family Marriage

Year of Healthy: March

I was pretty torn between two topics for March: marriage and my relationship with God.

My wedding anniversary is in March, and to be honest, marriage is still the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I feel like I’m failing at it every day.  But I’ve also been feeling a stronger urge and push to strengthen my relationship with God through an in-depth study of His Word. You can read about my initial pursuit into this in my All 66 Books posts. But now that I’ve finished reading the whole Bible, I want to go deeper. Dive into all of these questions I had and the topics I wanted to put together. So I struggled with what I wanted to focus on. If you’ve read this Rhenáe’s Random, you know that I am slowly making my way through the New Testament again, focusing on Acts and struggling a bit with the gospels. (this struggle has actually been getting better! Praise God!)

I started to read Kingdom Marriage by Tony Evans. His wife, Lois, recently passed away, and his dedication and devotion to the life she led and the way he is still cultivating the legacy they are leaving made me realize that they were someone I admired and wanted to know more about. He is also a powerhouse Bible teacher and pastor. While reading, I realized to strengthen my marriage, it would take me praying and following the order and alignment that God has outlined. I would only know how to do that by digging into God’s Word.

Here is the thing, my marriage is intensely personal, and not only do I not feel comfortable going into detail on the internet, but neither God nor my husband has released me to do that. But what I can do is let you into my studying of God’s Word. I already do bits of that with my All 66 Books series. As I dig deeper, I’ll share with you my Bibles, resources, and anything else God allows me to share.  I know some of that will touch on marriage.  Just don’t expect the full details that I normally give on these Year of Healthy posts. 💖

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Family Food Home

About This Vegan Thing…

Welp, I did it.  I went vegan for February. Errr…for 24 days at least.  I’m officially calling it a vegan journey, but as much as I wanted to stay entirely plant-based, it did not happen.  I bought a bunch of premade “meat” items and some cereal (did you know Captain Crunch and Cinnamon Toast Crunch are vegan?).  I made a quick post on social media about how the first ten days went, so I won’t recap those items (but now that I think about it, I should have made that a blog post).  You can go here to see it. I am going to use this post to talk about my overall thoughts now that it is over and what we are going to do going forward.

I won’t say that I had my hopes super high for this plant-based journey, but I was very much interested in the benefits that I’ve seen with others.  I was, however, disappointed when not only did I not experience many of the benefits, but a couple of my medical conditions became worst (specifically my fructose malabsorption/IBS and my fibromyalgia).  And shockingly, my doctor wasn’t too happy with my decision to go plant-based.  Now, I really should have gone to her before I started and let her know what I was doing.  I didn’t until more than halfway through when I started having some pretty unbearable symptoms. She actually sent me back to a GI.  Who advised me that most likely, my body couldn’t handle the increase in fiber.  So needless to say, I am not going to continue to be vegan or plant-based.

I did lose a total of 7 lbs.  And that was all in the first week, so I do believe it was water weight.  When I added processed vegan foods into our diet, I started to gain 1-2 lbs back.  I would then lose those same 1-2 lbs over and over again.  So while I think most of it was water weight, I could tell looking at my body, I lost weight.  I tend to carry my weight in places that have me in disbelief when I step on the scale or can’t fit certain clothes anymore.  I mean, I’ve gained 20 lbs since I’ve been married and didn’t realize it because it is pretty well hidden in my stomach and thighs lol—areas that are already pretty chunky (or as I like to say healthy).  But I’m starting to see my little shape again!

Here is why I’m okay with my decision to add meat and dairy back to my diet.  I eat pretty healthily regularly.  I’ve eliminated most of the added sugar from my diet.  I very rarely eat processed food.  I dissect food labels before I buy anything (to avoid fructose/sugar and unnecessary ingredients).  And I’m eating more than my fair share of fruits and veggies daily.  But one thing that going plant-based helped me with is seeing that I could be doing better with the range of fruits and vegetables I’m eating.  It doesn’t have to be a side or secondary to meat or pasta in a dish.  It can be the star!  Now I will be making some permanent switches.  Instead of using regular butter, we will switch to plant butter.  I always buy plant milk, but I discovered and love oat milk now.  I’m not afraid of tofu anymore.  I plan on using cashews to make some sauces because it’s been amazing.

Now there are a few symptoms that I am going to try and target with food.  For example, I finally tried celery juice, and it wasn’t bad (today is actually day 2 of me drinking it with my warm lemon water).   And while I’m a little skeptical about the delivery (the guy who founded the movement), I can’t say that the tons of benefits I’ve heard from hundreds of people (seriously search YouTube or Instagram) aren’t tempting.  So I want to try and do celery juice for at least seven days to eliminated some inflammation and see improvements with my depression and anxiety.  Depending on how that goes, I’ll then try 21 days or 30 days.  But I wanted to start this after I made the vegan journey to clearly see the benefits of being vegan vs. benefits of the celery juice.  I mentioned above I have been doing my warm lemon water again.  When I drink it, I immediately notice a change to my digestive system, which is why I want to keep doing it.  But sometimes I skip a day, and that turns into a week.  But since the benefits are immediate, when I get back on track, it helps me on day 1.

I didn’t go plant-based for ethical reasons.  I do care about the animal,s and I wish we as a planet would find a better way to treat them since we are using them as food, but I do believe that it is okay to use them as food.  Maybe when we are in the second Eden, we will be plant-based.  Who knows? 🤷🏽‍♀️ For now, the hubby and I have decided to split our weeks.  3-4 days will be no meat meals, and 3-4 days our meals will have some meat, and it will most likely be seafood or chicken.  I am not a fan of meal planning because my cravings very much lead me.  But I am wanting to plan to buy certain things each week to make sure we have and do better with having prepped quick items I can snack on throughout the day.

But what is the biggest thing I enjoyed most about this journey?  How much Chris enjoyed the food.  If you know us personally, you know that food is a big issue for us.  I love to cook and eat.  Chris, not so much.  I like eating and cooking whole food and meals.  Chris could live on junk and fast food.  It’s led to plenty of arguments and hurt (on my part).  Another thing…Chris hates veggies.  He could go days/weeks without eating vegetables if I didn’t physically put them on his plate.  But Chris frequently went back for seconds and thirds for these meals that were plant-based.  He wasn’t adding things like hot sauce or siracha to cover the food.  I was so happy to see this!  Seriously this made it all worth it!

Have you tried to go plant-based?  What were your results?  Let me know in the comments.

Categories
Family Food

Year of Healthy: February

I’m Going Planet-Based 

If you know me, I can hear you laughing now.  Tanisha…the foodie…giving up meat?  I am.  For the month of February, I decided to go vegan.  I knew on this Year of Healthy journey that I wanted to dedicate at least one month to food (to understand why read this post).  I had a good friend go vegan late last year, and her testimony has been so inspirational that I figured I would give it a go.  I’ll be honest, I expect this to be hard, so I picked the shortest month. 😂 Jokes on me because 2020 is a leap year, so it’s not as short as I expected.

What Is Vegan?

I’m including a quick definition because when I share with people that I am doing this, they make it seem like I can’t eat anything.  According to Webster, a vegan is “a strict vegetarian who consumes no food (such as meat, eggs, or dairy products) that comes from animals.”  That’s it.  What’s a vegetarian? Back to Webster.  “A person who does not eat meat: someone whose diet consists wholly of vegetables, fruits, grains, nuts, and sometimes eggs or dairy products.”  That leaves A LOT of options for me to eat.

Now, I have spent some time watching YoutTube videos and reading blog posts and man, the community really gets up in arms about vegan vs. plant-based.  Honestly, the difference seems to be that vegan means a lifestyle.  So you don’t wear anything from an animal, buy anything that came from an animal, etc.  But I also see that vegan means you still can eat processed foods.  Oreos are considered vegan.  While plant-based means you are eliminating animal products AND processed foods.  As of right now, I have no plans on changing my whole life around behind this.  I mean, I think the only animal things I own “may” be leather purses, but I’m not even sure if that is the case.  But for right now, my only change will be with food.  I may continue to learn more that may change this.  The purpose of me picking a topic for a month is to learn what I can and create healthy habits.

Why Plant-Based?

I’ve been working on my relationship with food for a couple of years now.  I’ve done Whole30 plenty of times, which is when you eliminate dairy, grains, legumes, sugar, alcohol, and soy for 30 days.  We live a Whole30 lifestyle 95% of the time because I can’t consume sugar and dairy without having some major stomach issues.  I’ve also gone without meat a couple of times during different fasts that I have done.  My goal is to get the inside of my body healthy.  While I understand medicines are beneficial, I would love to control my different health concerns with food.  I would prefer that I get my vitamins and nutrients from what I eat and drink.  And since the holidays, I have done a horrible job at cooking and eating my vegetables.  It also doesn’t hurt that my husband hates vegetables, and it gets pretty annoying to prepare them and him not eat them.  So going plant-based and trying out different recipes allows me to increase my vegetable intake.  I’m also hoping that a side benefit is that I can show my husband healthy food made only from plants isn’t a bad thing.

How I’m Getting Started

Planning and Preparation.  Those are seriously my two most significant tools for this journey.  I created a vegan section under my food board on Pinterest.  I eat very little processed food day-to-day, and I cook most of my meals at home.  So I will continue doing that.  Because I am cooking with even more fresh produce, I was advised to continue to go to the grocery store multiple times a week to prevent food waste.  I started on Friday by planning enough meals to get me through the weekend.  I hit the store Saturday since I had enough food to get through breakfast and lunch (oatmeal, grits, smoothies…I have options).  I made a grocery list for 2-3 days worth of meals and then picked up what I needed from the store and got to cooking.  I’ve had a fantastic time and experience so far, and a certain someone has even enjoyed the food.  Keep an eye on my Instagram and Facebook stories to see how this goes!  I’ve already created a story highlight just for this journey.  Are you plant-based or have tried vegan before?  Please leave me your tips below in the comments.

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All 66 Books

All 66 Books: Nehemiah

Need some background info on this series? See here and here.

I found a new book genre that I have just fallen in love with, Biblical Fiction.  I was about to start reading Harvest of Rubies by Tessa Afshar, and it was about the cousin of the prophet Nehemiah (remember the book was fiction).  So I figured it would be a good idea to read the book that bears his name.  According to Crossway, it takes 58 minutes to read Nehemiah.

Just a reminder, it’s best to let scripture interpret scripture. I like these resources because they help me better understand scripture, but I may not agree with everything they say. As in all things, pray and invite God to help you in your time of reading and studying. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and use discernment when using resources outside of the Bible itself. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15 NIV)

Here is an additional resource I recommend looking into after you read Nehemiah through on your own:

The Bible Project

Leave me a comment below if you have taken the 58 minutes to read Nehemiah.  Do you know any other great resources for this book?  Leave them below!

 

Categories
Family

Goodbye 30, Hello 31

2019 was a bitch. I hate to say it that way, but there is just no other way. I’ve never been one to focus on milestone years as significant life-changing years or think I needed to do certain things by a certain age. But reflecting on me being 30 and I’m wondering if this is really a thing. I was so excited to turn 30. Ushered in the year with a fantastic photoshoot, surrounded by amazing people, had a great dinner with even better people, pics with Santa, drinks afterward, and the night ended with an impromptu dance party in the parking lot. I just knew 2019 was going to be my year. Then a mixture of things went wrong. Shady ass people and friendships. A separation. Lies and deception.  Being let down in a big way by my church home and family.  All leading to a depression that honestly even a year later, I haven’t been able to shake completely. My panic attacks returned. My anxiety went through the roof to the point that I wouldn’t leave my house for weeks at a time. And even when I started to make moves to do better, the depression and anxiety stayed around. The lack of motivation remained. It was suffocating, and I felt like I was drowning. Constantly.  And I feel like it all centered around a loss of identity.  I no longer fit into any of the boxes I created for myself.

I started this blog to document what I am using to help me work through all of that. I was reading more, started watching movies and tv again, listening to podcasts, music, and sermons. I was retaking time to pour into me.  And I wanted a place to share all of that because I felt like I couldn’t be alone in these feelings and needing things to help me through them.  And if I wasn’t the only one, maybe someone else could be helped by what I found helpful.  But as I mentioned before, this lack of motivation and the continued depressed state wouldn’t go away.  While I do feel like moments have gotten better, I still have some tough days.  So what does this mean for me now that I have turned 31 and in 2020?  Self-care is always going to be a significant focus.  Year of Healthy is all about taking care of me and becoming the healthiest version of myself in all areas of my life.  But I also want to make it about others.  I think that was the primary thing missing for me last year.  Because I was traveling and switching church homes, I was no longer serving in church like before.  Because I was dealing with some friendship issues, I became a crappy friend to the ones that were left.  And I still suck at consistent communication with my family.  All of that needs to change.

As I reflect on the last year of my life and even going back to previous years, I realize that I also need to focus on the good things that have happened.  I need to celebrate the moments of overcoming, the joyous occasions, the small stuff.  I’ve lost a lot of people in the last ten years that have made it abundantly clear that life is short.  People I thought I would have more time with were taken away, and in those moments, I realized that I would give all I have away to get back one second with them.  This means the moments that I currently have need to be spent focusing on people and being joyful.  I don’t want any regrets.  I want to be able to say that every moment was lived to the fullest.  Spending time harping on the negative, complaining, and just downright being selfish has done nothing for me but made me feel worst.  I understand the need to feel the emotions and acknowledge them, but I don’t have to stay there.  I always liked the quote that puts our time into money.  It talks about someone taking $10 from your bank account that has $86,400 in it and if you would throw away the $86,390 behind the $10.  The answer should always be no, right?  But that is what I do each time when I am pissed or frustrated about something that took 10 seconds to happen, and then I spend the rest of the day focused on it.  Lord, don’t let me be pissed for multiple days.  How much money am I throwing away then?

It’s time for me to take all that I have learned and do a better job of applying it.  To become a better person and to help and serve others.  To minimize my complaining and maximize my gratitude.  I will continue to document that journey here on the blog and my Instagram and Facebook pages.  I will continue to be in deep prayer about what God wants my journey to look like and ways that I can serve you here.  Thank you for rocking with me these past few months.  I pray that you are finding something that can help you.

“For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.” – Galatians 5:13 CSB

Check out some of my favorite posts from last year:

Book Review: Letters to the Church

2019 Word of the Year: Growth

2020 Word of the Year: Healthy

All 66 Books

Book Review: The 5 AM Club

Categories
Book Review Family Book Review Finance Book Review

Book Review: The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma

Title: The 5 AM Club

Author: Robin Sharma

Genre: Fiction/Self Help/Business

Publisher: Harper Collins

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This post was originally posted as a guest post on TwentyFourDoors.com.  Check them out as they connect Millenials to information from homeownership to starting an Airbnb.  Follow them on Instagram and Facebook.

This review has taken me a long time to write mostly because I just wanted to sit with the lessons I learned from this book forever.  Without a doubt, this is my favorite book that I have read.  Ever.  This book makes me meditate for long moments and reflect and plan.  This book has sparked ideas.  This book helped me revive some things that I thought were dead.  This book has made me emotional.  This book has just done so much for me. Initially, I read it during my Sabbatical earlier this year via Libby (available to read via Kindle app).  At that time, I knew it had the potential to be life-changing, and I decided to order a physical copy to read again.  Which I did at the end of the summer.  A chapter a day.  Taking my time and highlighting.  Writing out my thoughts as I journaled.  I did not want to finish this book ever.  I’ve never been one to re-read books, and I’ve found a handful this year that I wouldn’t mind reading twice.  But this is the first book that I knew there was a high probability that I would be reading it yearly.

My Thoughts:

The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma is the first and only book of his that I read.  I don’t even remember how I came across it.  I’ve never heard of him before and didn’t even have this book on my radar.  But something made me borrow it on Libby when I saw it.  While this is every bit of a self-help and business book, the story is told as fiction.  Sharma uses the story of the Spellbinder, the Billionaire, the Entrepreneur, and the Artist to share with his readers the way to Own Your Morning and Elevate Your Life by joining the 5 AM Club.  Warning…I can’t help but include spoilers in this review, and I include a trigger warning for a brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

We are introduced to the Entrepreneur who is currently going through a crisis with her business.  She is being pushed out of the company that she started by her investors, and it has her contemplating suicide. As she is doing this, she catches a glance of a conference ticket that she was gifted for the Spellbinder.  She decides that even though she doesn’t believe in these types of conferences, that this is her last chance.  She goes and starts to listen to the Spellbinder, an older, well-dressed man who is a master of his trade in leadership and inspiration.  While speaking, you can tell that he isn’t looking too well, and he eventually collapses on stage, bringing the conference to an end.

Staying for a while after the collapse, the Entrepreneur is sitting next to the Artist. They strike up a conversation and are soon interrupted by a homeless guy.  They start talking about the memorable moments of the session.  The homeless guy starts to go into in-depth details about how the Spellbinder has inspired him and gives hints to what he has been able to accomplish.  The Entrepreneur almost immediately starts judging and doubting him based on how he looks.  Eventually, he offers them an opportunity to come to his beachside place the next morning to begin to discuss the ideas that he has learned to help own his morning and elevate his life.  They both take him up on his offer to meet him back at 5 AM, but they doubt seriously that he will show up, let alone that they will be getting on a jet.

But the next morning, when they go to meet him, they are greeted by a car that indeed, takes them to a jet, and sure enough, they are taken away to this beachside residence.  They see who they think is the Homeless man standing on the beach and go to him, only to find out it is the Spellbinder, who happens to be Mr. Riley’s (the Homeless man who will now be called the Billionaire) friend and mentor.  He is at the residence to refresh and vacation after passing out from exhaustion on stage. Mr. Riley meets them and then explains he will teach them different lessons each morning they meet at 5 AM.  While the Spellbinder is an older gentleman who is calm and pushing the later part of life, Mr. Riley is an eccentric middle-aged man who is quirky enough to bust out in pushups or start yodeling mid-conversation.  He keeps both the Entrepreneur and the Artist on their toes and laughing throughout the whole adventure. They travel to different places to get some of the lessons and are quickly becoming members of the 5 AM Club.

The Entrepreneur is almost the main character.  The storyline follows her from her potential suicide attempt to being threatened by her investors that are trying to take over her company.  Her goals go from preventing the takeover to truly living a happy life so she can be the best entrepreneur there is.  The Artist seems to want to be understood. He follows the typical artist lifestyle where he wants to create what he wants and have others love it.  Unexpectedly, the two end up starting a relationship and falling in love.  While this story isn’t a major theme in the book, it is still there and, in my opinion, not necessary to teach us any of the lessons.  But I am sure the purpose is to remember that becoming better at your business or craft, isn’t what life is all about.  It’s important to enjoy life and enjoy it with those around us.  Eventually, they get married, and the vacation has to come to an end.  But they are officially members of the 5 AM Club.  The epilogue gives you an update on everyone five years later (and be prepared to cry).

This is one of those books where you have to wait to get most of the information.  While the text was full of amazing quotes (and hard not to highlight whole pages), some chapters didn’t actually “teach” me anything towards the 5 AM Club.  Plus, I found myself asking when will we get to the part that shows us WHAT to do at 5 AM quite a bit.  Even the Artist asked it a couple of times in the book.  One thing that came out of this book for me was a list of people I wanted to learn more about.  Lately, it seems to be a theme for me to encounter books that talk a lot about or quote a lot of other people.  Some of the people I am familiar with like Rose Parks, Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Nelson Mandela.  Others I have either never heard of or heard of them in passing like Rumi, Charles Bukowski, and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.  Since I am always interested in learning, I realized that I could learn more about these people and their practices since they were significant enough to get mentioned in some of the books I am loving.  I created a list in Evernote “People to Look Up” and am adding a goal to my Year of Healthy to try and learn about someone new once a week.  I imagine this will open up a wealth of resources to me.

While reading this book, I had no choice but to think of each stage of my life.  I can see clearly where I made mistakes, and I better understand how they happened.  I see ways that I self-sabotaged myself when I was doing great.  This book is going to be a major part of my Year of Healthy with all of the nuggets on goal setting and habit building.  And it’s not just the getting up at 5 AM.  It’s what you do during what Sharma calls your Victory Hour that makes a difference.  Here are some things that I will be trying from the book:

~ The Victory Hour – Investing sixty minutes in developing my best self and my greatest skills

~ Intense Visualization – envision what your perfect day should look like and then go out and try to live that day

~ Eliminate distractions, especially during your Victory Hour

~ Morning Routine: Move, Reflect, Grow (the 20/20/20 Formula)

~ Exercise and sweat hard, journal/meditate/plan/pray, read/listen/study

~ Evening Routine: No technology, time with family, reading, winding down, prepare for the morning

~ For 90 days, invest the first 90 minutes of your workday on just one activity (the 90/90/1 Rule)

~ Work for 60 minutes without moving, then spend 10 minutes refueling (the 60/10 Method)

Here are some great lessons and quotes from the book

~ All change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.

~ To have the results the top 5% of producers have, you must start doing what 95% of people are unwilling to do.

~ When you feel like surrendering, continue.

~ To double your income and impact, tripe your investment in two core areas – your personal mastery and your professional capability. (the 2x3x Mindset)

~ With better daily awareness you can make better daily choices, and with better daily choices you’ll start seeing better daily results. (the 3 Step Success Formula)

~ …if you want to be the best in the world…you need to put in enormous amounts of practice time to advance your expertise.  Specifically, a performer must invest at least two hours and forty-four minutes of daily improvement on their chosen skill for ten years.

~ Enhancing anything in your day, ranging from your morning routine to a thought pattern to a business skill to a personal relationship, by only 1% delivers at least 30% elevation only a month from starting.  Stay with the program and, in just one year, the pursuit you’ve been focusing on has elevated 365% at least.

~ Personal discipline is a muscle.  The more you stretch it, the stronger it grows.

~ Increasing self-control in one area of your life elevates self-control in all areas of your life.

~ The way you practice in private is precisely the way you’ll perform once you’re in public.

I could list so many more great lessons and things that I want to start implementing, but you would be reading forever, and I want you to grab a copy of the book and read it for yourself.  I couldn’t help but give this book a 5-star rating.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  If you have read it already, let me know some of your favorite parts in the comments below.

*As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases using the links included in this post.

 

Categories
Family Productivity

Year of Healthy: November

If you read my Goodbye October post, you will see October’s goals did not go as planned.  I felt like they were all over the place, and when things shifted in my life, the habits I was trying to build quickly went out the window.  I decided to make a change with how I was going to do my monthly goals going forward.  I’m taking a page out of Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, and selecting themes for each month, and that area is where I will focus on setting goals and building habits.  For November, I will focus on creating a nighttime routine.

A Great Morning Routine Starts The Night Before

One of my goals last month was to wake up at 4:30 AM at least five days a week.  My husband and I agreed on that time so he would stop hitting the snooze button, and I could get up a bit earlier.  The plan was that I would cook his breakfast, see him off for the day, and get my day started.  And while most days I was able to wake up, I spent way too many days going to sleep after my husband left.  Or some days just turning the alarm off and going back to sleep immediately.  But what I do remember is the days that I was able to get up and stay up, were some of my most productive days.  So why wasn’t I able to wake up and stay up?  Most of the time, it was because I didn’t go to sleep at a reasonable time the night before.  Actually going to bed and getting to sleep was such a challenge.  I realized that for me to wake up early, I needed to figure out how to get to sleep early.  Looking at my nights, I really didn’t have a plan.  I cooked dinner, hung out with my husband, and then went to bed.  But once I was in bed, most likely I was watching whatever Chris had on T.V. or on my phone or my thoughts were racing so much I was writing.  I need to figure out how to wind down, so when I got in the bed, I went to sleep.  So I did what I do best, I started to research and look on Pinterest and YouTube to see what others have done.  And while it was hard to find nighttime routines (there is an abundance of morning routines and a ton of kid nighttime routines), I was able to narrow down what I want to try at night that might be able to help me.

Testing It Out

I plan to spend the month of November trying out all of the different routines that I found during my research. Habits that I am hoping will allow me to wind down and get into bed at a reasonable time.  I read in The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma that the ideal amount of sleep is 7 1/2 hours. With Chris having a recent change of schedule, we decided to push our wake up time to 5 AM, which means the best time for me to go to sleep would be about 9:30 PM. So when I was picking out routines that seemed interesting to me, I needed to make sure that I could do them in between when I usually cook dinner around 4 PM or 5 PM and 9:30 PM.  I still needed to eat dinner and spend time with my husband, all within 5 1/2 – 6 1/2 hours.  Let’s hope this is as easy as it sounds.  Here are the routines that interest me:

Quick Clean Up

Although my husband usually takes care of putting the dishes in the dishwasher, I still tend to clean and shut down the kitchen at night.  Doing a quick clean up of the other rooms that we’ve used throughout the day always makes me feel better but isn’t something I do enough.  Getting this done will hopefully prevent me from laying in bed, wishing I would have cleaned up a bit.

Stretching/Yoga/Walking

I started walking around my neighborhood in September, but last month I came up with more excuses, and I stopped.  One reason was, every time I came back from walking, I wanted to sleep for hours.  I don’t know where all those endorphins are that I should be feeling, but they were nowhere to be found.  But I figured a good way to flip this side effect into a positive would be to do it in the evenings.  On days where I don’t feel like walking, I could always stretch or do a yoga routine.

Relaxing Baths and Showers

Normally, fall and winter are when I switch to taking showers at night.  And as much as I love my bathtub and baths, I don’t take them enough.  Add in some essential oils, Epsom salt, dim the lights, light some candles, and turn on the music. I did this the other day for the first time in forever, and it was amazing.  I was more relaxed than I have been in a really long time.

Warm Drink

In addition to my bath, I also made me a warm drink.  I tried some Vanilla Chia tea but used milk instead of water, and it was so good.  I’ve also read that golden milk helps with sleep and inflammation so I would like to try it.  A few nights a week, I normally make some tea that is geared towards relaxing or sleeping.  They don’t always put me right to sleep, but they help relax me and act as a signal that it is time to wind down.

Skin Care Routine, Moisturize My Body, and Oral Hygiene

I want to add face masks and scrubs to my current routine of cleansing, toning, and moisturizing.  I’ve also been wanting to find a body cream to use instead of regular lotion for after my showers and baths.  And keeping up the habit of brushing my teeth and flossing after I finish eating and before bed.

Gratitude, Journal, and Plan The Next Day

I tend to write in my journal all day long, but I would love to be able to take the time to reflect on what I am grateful for at the end of the day.  I could journal about my day or things on my mind and spend a few minutes planning out what I want my tomorrow to look like.  I’m hoping this will help get some things off my mind so I can be at peace at night.

Reading/No Technology

I am horrible about being on my phone in bed.  For hours.  I try and stay off of social media, although I don’t always succeed at that.  But honestly, I am most of the time reading or researching something that pops into my head.  I want to make our bedroom a no technology zone (or at the very least not use the technology in the bed).  My husband was sweet enough to buy me a new reading light last month, so I can still read my physical books.

Let’s Do This

I’ll be spending more time this month researching these routines and finding what works best for me.  Is there a particular essential oil I like best in my baths?  Is tea better for me than warm milk? I believe it is always important to find what works for you so while certain routines may work for others, it is all about tailoring them to fit my needs best.  Follow me on Instagram or Facebook to keep up with what this will look like daily for me.  Do you have nighttime routines that help you get to sleep?  Share them in the comments below.  I hope you join me this month in setting nighttime routines!

 

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Categories
Faith Family Productivity

Year of Healthy: Goodbye October

Check out my original October Goals post here. You can catch up on my word of the year here.

Goodbye October

October is officially over (Thank You, King Jesus).  And ugh…this month did not go how I planned it at all.  Its been an emotional one with some major hits to a few things that I had planned and some unexpected things popping up.  Dreams were crushed.  Multiple appliances quit working.  Doctor’s appointments didn’t go well.  It was one of those months where I would like to have swept it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen.  But instead, I really need to look at what went wrong.  Yes, all of those things were bad, but they shouldn’t have had the opportunity to shake me to my core and break my plans.  This was when I realized why I really need to have these habits put in place so nothing can shake them.  Even habits that I thought I already built came tumbling down.  Do you know how everyone says it takes 21 days to make a habit?  Have you ever taken that time, and on day 22, felt more of a relief that you can break the habit? And then actually break it?  Same here.

In The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma, he recommends taking 66 days to not only build the habit but turn it into an automatic response.  Making your habits automatic helps break decision fatigue.  Sharma breaks down the 66 days into three stages.  The first stage he calls Destruction.  The first 22 days are hard.  You are destroying your old ways, and as he says, “rewriting past programs of your heart and emotions.”  He explains that this is when you will want to quit and give up.  I believe this is probably why we celebrate so much when we do make it to day 21.  The second stage is called Installation.  So while stage one was all about getting rid of your old self and habits, this stage is about creating your new self and habits.  Your need to quit gets higher, and you are having regrets about doing this in the first place.  Sharma takes about some pretty deep emotions that you will feel during this stage: exhaustion, confusion, stress.  But being able to say yes daily to your new habit through this second set of 22 days leads you right to stage three, which is Integration.  This is the last set of 22 days where it all starts to come together and “integrates at a psychological, emotional, physical, and spiritual level.” Doing all of this gets you to The Automaticity Point, where you no longer need to force yourself with your new habit.  Now all the energy you used to build that one habit can be used to create a new one.  And you can start another round of 66 days.

Another thing I realized with my goals for October is, they were kind of all over the place. Some were apart of what could be considered my morning routine. Some a nighttime routine. And while I tried my best to stack them so they could trigger each other, it didn’t work so well. Especially if I messed up one, then it seemed to be a tumbling effect. I realized that for the upcoming months during my Year of Healthy, I need a theme and to focus on that.  For a hint on what November’s theme may be, keep reading.  Here are specific updates on each goal from October:

Wake up at 4:30 AM 5 days a week

What was once going so well, just went down the toilet after a few emotionally moody days. I would wake up early, maybe 1-2 days a week to cook my husband’s breakfast and go right back to sleep. Or hear my alarm and turn it right off. What was the problem? I didn’t have a nighttime routine and therefore struggled to get into bed at a decent hour and fall asleep. I suffer from insomnia, and along with my fibromyalgia, I can struggle to fall asleep, although I spend most of my day dealing with exhaustion.  I realized that I needed a nighttime routine that really works.  From my quick research, I see a ton of morning routines, and a lot of people will even say it starts the night before but won’t give many details.  I need to master a nighttime routine before I can move forward on this one.  On a positive note, with my husband’s schedule changing, I was able to adjust this time to 5:00 am, and while I do still sometimes find myself going back to bed after cooking and seeing him off to work, it’s been easier to get up.

Finish reading the Old Testament this month

So this may be the only routine that I have made some movement on after a bit adjusting of the goal.  The only issue is, according to my calculations, to finish the OT in October, I had to read 16 chapters a day.  And that didn’t happen.  But there have been some things that happened with my Bible reading and studying this month.    Well, let’s just talk about my spiritual life as a whole.

  • I finally joined the church that I have been attending for the past few months.
  • I attended their Explore class to learn more about the church’s values and morals.
  • I signed up to start serving again (can I say how much I have missed serving every week!).
  • I signed up for a monthly group and a Bible Study Fellowship class.  The BSF group is currently going through Acts.
  • I was late, but I updated my IG to show that I finished the NT.
  • I’ve finished 2nd Samuel,  Ecclesiastes, and Proverbs.

 

In the Chronological Bible that I am reading out of, currently has me in 1st Kings, 2nd Chronicles, and Psalms.  I still have to get through all of the Prophets, and I have not read most of them, so I imagine I will be taking my time.

Write at least three times a week

I have been exceeding this goal.  I write almost every day.  I write prayers. I write about my Bible reading. I write about my day.  I write about my moods.  I write about the ideas that I have.  I write about my to-do’s.  I just write. And I have been feeling so much better afterward.  Quite a few crazy things have been happening around here, and it has been so frustrating, so writing out my thoughts and feelings has been beneficial.

Hit each timeline on my water bottle on time

Not only do I not hit my timelines, but I’ve also pretty much stopped drinking my gallon of water.  This all comes from not waking up early and then just not eating or drinking at the right times.  I’ve even been drinking soda because we were given a bunch of 2 liters.  Y’all, I can go months without drinking soda and then bam, here I have 1-2 glasses a day.  I have even been slacking on my lemon water.  It’s been bad.  Plus, I know all of this impacts how I feel.  I know that food and staying hydrated will need to be its own theme.  Honestly, I may even need to split them up to cover two months.  We shall see.

Walk for 30 minutes three times a week

I think this is what I am most disappointed in myself with.  Because I was doing really well with this.  Then I started making excuses for going out and walking.  I need to hold on to how accomplished I felt when I was doing it.  And I need to get it done.  One thing that I hope to do is, now that Chris’s schedule has changed, I’m hoping we can walk together a couple of times a week.

Read at least 30 minutes a day

Is it possible to be in a reading slump right after you launch a blog that has a bunch of book of reviews?  Well, that is what has been happening.  Truthfully, I’ve been reading a bunch of romances, and I can’t really learn anything from those. 😂 But on the other hand, I’ve been watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and doing other things that have been helping me learn or to wind down.  I do read some nights, but it hasn’t been daily.  I haven’t made much of a dent in my October book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg or the four other books I wanted to finish reading.

Downtime from 9 PM to 9 AM

This was going so well until it wasn’t.  I started by keeping the phone down most of the night.  Then I began to hit ignore limit for 15 minutes at a time.  Then I started to turn downtime off altogether.  I also extended it to have downtime through the weekend.  I turned that off, too, but I am known to ignore all notifications on the weekends.  But I will admit, on the days where I honored this goal, it was terrific.  I was able to do other things.  And most importantly, I was present with what I was doing.  This is such a habit that I want to keep because I’m not going to lie, I think I am addicted to social media.  It may be time for a fast.

What’s Next

So how did October go overall?  It was a major failure.  And I am okay with admitting that because I have a plan going forward.  Some rough days really knocked me down, and I realized that my emotions made me go from resting and recovering to just being plain stubborn and lazy.  I did have a couple of flare days towards the end of the month, and because I wasn’t so productive for the month, I felt even worst taking a day or two to recover.  But November is a new month.  I’m praying for a productive month since I have done a bit of planning.  Stay tuned for my November goals post coming soon.

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Categories
Faith Family Finances

2020 Word of the Year: Healthy

Want to catch up on my 2019 Word of the year? Click here.

I hate exercising.

This wasn’t always the case. My first few years after high school, when I was commuting to college, I enjoyed walking. I often went to the gym with friends. I enjoyed using the gym at my apartment after working an evening shift. But shortly after, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and FOR ME, exercising triggered my pain and made me feel worse. So I stopped. And every time I tried, it was painful. Even physical therapy didn’t help. So I decided that exercising just wasn’t my thing.

I love food.

I’ve always loved food. I’m pretty sure; I will always love food. This didn’t matter much when I was younger because I was still naturally on the skinny side. But after I stopped exercising, some of the weight hung on. And the older I got, the more weight decided to stick around. I’m all for body positivity and loving yourself, so honestly, this didn’t bother me at all. No matter what I weighed, I always loved my body. Smaller, bigger, in between it’s still crucial for me to love what I look like.

My body is fighting me.

Thanks to those milk cartons at school, I’ve known since I was very young that I cannot tolerate much dairy.  I’ve stayed away from most dairy, except cheese and ice cream, the majority of my life. But if I have too much, I’m going to get sick and throw it up. My symptoms were different from most people I know that are lactose intolerant, so I wasn’t sure if that’s what it was or not. I remember my doctor saying to stay away from dairy. I don’t recall having any other food-related issues while growing up.

But in 2017, I got sick. I couldn’t keep anything in my system (I’ll save you from TMI). It was triggered by stress, but it forever changed my life. After months of doctor visits and hours of testing, they determined that not only was I lactose intolerant but I also had fructose malabsorption. What is that? Basically, my body struggles to digest fructose. What’s fructose? It’s a type of sugar. What is it in? ALMOST EVERYTHING. It’s naturally found in most fruits and vegetables. We realized that due to the stressful season I was in, somehow, someway my body went into some type of shock and decided it was going to start hollering any time I had dairy or sugar. The pain and cramps we’re unbearable. I lived in the bathroom (sorry TMI), and on a couple of occasions I’ve passed out. Still not sure if that’s because of the intense pain or dehydration, but I no longer lock bathroom doors for my safety when at home. It was a scary time for sure.

After being sent to a nutritionist (thanks to my GI doctor being real and telling me I can’t do this on my own), I realized my diet had to change drastically. We tried Whole 30 before and knew from that time how hard it was to find anything without dairy and sugar. But it was possible, so I adopted a 95% Whole 30 lifestyle. This made a big difference because I was able to avoid all added sugars, high fructose corn syrup, and any other sweeteners. But because fructose naturally occurs in fruits and vegetables, I still had some episodes. But I decided to accept this new life and what I could control.

What Changed

My Word of the Year for 2019 was Growth. And when thinking about my future, I realized I don’t want to scrape by. I knew there was more that I could do to almost eliminate my symptoms. After some prayer, I realized I needed to get truly healthy.

When I talked to God about what that meant for me and what it looked like, I decided that my 31st year was going to be spent on getting and staying healthy. Then I realized, I was given my 2020 Word of the Year: HEALTHY. Here are the areas I want to work on:

– Creating and sticking with a skincare routine (face and body)

– Start some type of exercise routine

– Eating better and reducing my malabsorption symptoms

– Building and sticking with morning and evening routines

– Building and maintaining relationships (God/Husband/Family/Friends)

– Creating and maintaining a healthy home

– Creating better habits overall

My favorite book from this year, The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma, speaks to Mindset (Psychology), Heartset (Emotionality), Healthset (Physicality), and Soulset (Spirituality). I realized that everything I want to focus on and improve fits into these areas.  Each month, I’ll create goals meant to grow myself in each set and make them a habit.  If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you see that I have slowly started this.  I drink warm lemon water most mornings, I have started to get up at 4:30 am, and I drink a gallon of water most days.  Those are just some of the habits I am beginning to build.  But this year will be full of habits that will continue to allow my growth and move me into being healthy.  Stick around for my goals and updates.

Have you picked your Word of the Year for 2020 yet?  What habits are you trying to build?  Let me know in the comments below!

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Categories
Faith Family Finances

2019 Word of the Year Update: Growth

When I picked my Word of the Year for 2019, this blog wasn’t what it is today.  It was still my Professional Organization business page.  I had a couple of blog post, but I never encouraged people to read them.  They were just there. So I didn’t need to explain my Word of the Year or talk about it.  But like my blog post, it was just floating around.

Towards the end of 2018, around September/October,  I was starting to feel a shift.  I was a wife and a business owner, but things weren’t feeling all that settled for me.  I had quit my job to start my business and stay home and do a better job of supporting my husband.  I was active and plugged in at church.  I was leading a small group. I was feeling the pull to get into God’s Word.  I felt like I was doing all of the right things but still felt off.  My Word of the Year for 2018 was Intentional, and I was owning and doing that quite well.  But I wasn’t present much in my home.  I prayed about my feelings, and I felt God respond to me with Growth.  And just like that, I had my Word of the Year for 2019.

After the beginning of the year, a few friends and I got together to do vision boards, which turned into vision notebooks.  I will tell you right now, that notebook barely got used this year.  But more on what it turned into later.  After creating our vision notebooks, we made some goals and documented what we felt like our action steps should be.  Here are mine:

Faith: Build my personal relationship with God through His Word

Action Step: Create a Bible Study calendar of what I want to study

Family: Spend more time focusing on how to make my home healthy

Action Step: Cook and eat dinner together at least 3x a week

Finances: Create and stick with a budget

Action Step: Have monthly conversations with Chris about our budget

Friendship: Focus on quality friendships, not quantity

Action Step: Continue to hang out and relax with friends at home (mine or theirs)

Fitness: Walk as a form of exercise

Action Step: Walk around the neighborhood at least 1x a week

At first glance, I failed three out of five of these.  And one was done unintentionally.  As much as I could look at this as a failure, I won’t because I’ve seen God move in so many ways this year and I have experienced growth like never before.  I remember when I was praying about growth, I felt like God reminded me (possibly through a quote I’ve seen) that asking for growth means to expect some stretching.  But I never expected the type of stretching and growth I received.

Faith: Build my personal relationship with God through His Word

Action Step: Create a Bible Study calendar of what I want to study

I did not do this action step.  Well, I did partly. I accomplished my main goal of building my personal relationship with God through His Word.  When I went on my sabbatical at the beginning of this year, I was so broken.  I felt like I had no choice but to spend time with God.  I knew He was the only one, and the only way I would be able to be healed.  I had no clue what I was doing most of the time, but I still let God guide me. I’ll be releasing a new series on my blog soon that goes into depth on not only what God taught me to do during this time, but what He wanted me to share.  I was able to build a daily habit of, at the very least, reading God’s Word.  I was apart of a few online Bible studies while I was gone.  I also created an ongoing list of topics in Evernote I want to study.  I feel like the result of all of this is that I know God more, I feel God more, and I’m listening to God more.

Family: Spend more time focusing on how to make my home healthy

Action Step: Cook and eat dinner together at least 3x a week

I ran away from Florida, including my home, in February.  And I didn’t return into July.  So I didn’t do this action step either.  But I ran TO family. During those five months I was traveling, I stayed at four different family members houses. We talked, we cooked, we ate, we laughed, we cried (okay I mostly cried), we loved on each other.  I skipped going home for the holidays in 2018, and I truly felt like that contributed to me feeling broken.  But while I may have ignored my immediate homefront, God knew I needed the love and support of my extended family.  I’m so thankful for them. I was able to hear stories that explained our history.  Stories that provided a sense of healing in some areas of my life.

Finances: Create and stick with a budget

Action Step: Have monthly conversations with Chris about our budget

Man, did I feel the impact of this one!  So not only did I not create a budget, but I turned over all things related to money over to my husband.  When I say, I ran away; I ran away.  I didn’t have a care about anything.  Our house. Our bills.  NOT A THING.  And because I was no longer managing the money, that meant I no longer had access to money.  Thank God for my family because that allowed me to have shelter and food, but I no longer had the lifestyle I used to, and that took a while to get accustomed to.  But it taught me what I needed vs. what I wanted.  It helped me to see how much waste I had in my spending. It helped me to stop spending.  And even now that I am back home and have access to money again, I choose not to spend.  I’m more careful about what I think we need.  It’s even changed some of my long term goal planning.

Friendship: Focus on quality friendships, not quantity

Action Step: Continue to hang out and relax with friends at home (mine or theirs)

Man oh man did this one hit hard.  First, I didn’t do anything intentionally for this one.  But something about leaving for five months does something for superficial friendships. Second, I am still walking through this one. I learned during this time how many Sunday only friends I had.  Meaning, I only saw them on Sundays when I went to church.  Or my physical presence sparked a reminder to chat or see each other later in the week.  So after a couple of weeks of being gone, my phone became pretty quiet. But again, God knew what He was doing.  I needed all of the voices away from me.  I needed to stop looking for approval from others. And I didn’t realize how bad it was until most of everyone went away.  What hurts the most is I did lose a few that I thought were super close to me.  But it also made me realize I wasn’t that great of a friend either.  I seriously needed to look at what Biblical friendship looked like and how to offer it to others.  It’s funny that my goal was to focus on quality friendships, and that is precisely what happened.  I can say that the quality of the friendships I have are getting better.  BUT with that, I say, not everyone is my friend.  Some people are just acquaintances.  Even more, are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Which of course, changes who gets what access to me.

Fitness: Walk as a form of exercise

Action Step: Walk around the neighborhood at least 1x a week

This was so simple, but the furthest thing from my mind.  I didn’t even try to accomplish this.  If you know me, you know I always joke about being allergic to exercise.  And while going away on my sabbatical and coming back all fit and healthy would have been great, it just wasn’t even on my radar.  Especially being around family that loves to cook and eat as much as I do.  But I will explain more about this in a later blog post.

Okay, this wasn’t a topic with an action step.  But I wanted to share what came out of my year of growth.  This did.  This being my blog. While on my Sabbatical, I read The Alchemist, and it sparked me to do some writing.  Remember that vision notebook I created?  This is where I wrote about my fears, random thoughts, and ideas that popped into my head, what I wanted to do.  Most of it was just rambling, but I felt like I needed to share what I was learning in a more structured format. I had previously started to share bits and pieces on my Instagram, but I realized I wanted to change up my website.  I had already received confirmation that I was done with the business, so the site was sitting there.  I started to map out what I wanted the blog to be.  And I realized today that I’m not sure I have been all that clear and it may be taking a direction I didn’t intend.  And while that can be good in some ways if God is directing you that way, it can also be harmful if its a distraction.  Being able to discern between the two is essential.  So I want to clarify what my blog is.

My blog documents my journey of growth. It is God and His Word, first and foremost that is guiding me. As I take this journey, I come across books, podcast, shows, movies, messages, people, quotes, etc. through my research that allows me to continue to grow.  I want to share that with all of you.  And not just to say, look at me I am growing.  But to say, if you are struggling, you are not alone, here is what helped me, I hope it helps you.

I realized my blog has been a little more lopsided towards books.  While that is my passion, getting in a reading rut lately helped me realize that is not all that I use to help me grow.  And while my social media tends to show more of a variety, I wasn’t showing that on my blog.  So I need to do better going forward.  The good thing is, God has been downloading a lot of stuff into me that has me digging deeper and researching more.  I already have over 30 blog posts drafted up with ideas.  I’ve been taking this blogging thing seriously for about three months now, and I thank you for joining me so far.  I hope you stick around and continue to see how this journey is going.  My biggest prayer is that you know that you are never alone, and God is always guiding you.  Be on the lookout for my 2020 Word of the Year.  It’s a God thing because there is no way I would have picked this one.

What was your Word of the Year for 2019?  Have you picked your 2020 one yet?