This past week, Hope*Writer’s was one of the companies that offered some of their resources for free while we have been practicing social distancing. They gave everyone that signed up access to 15 of their Tuesday Teaching’s, which they said were handpicked by their community as the best of the best.
I’ve heard of Hope*Writer’s from their founder Emily P. Freeman, author of The Next Right Thing. It is a membership service described as “a community of working writers dedicated to the success and creativity of each member.” I’ve always been interested in it but don’t consider myself a serious enough writer to pay the $47 a month to join.
I learned quite a bit from the teachers this week and wanted to share with you some of my notes. I plan on creating some action steps and executing them here on the blog and in future endeavors.
Jo Saxton
I had never heard of Jo Saxton, but immediately after watching her teaching, I went right to her social media to follow her. Her leadership skills were evident in her speaking, and she was so down to earth. Here are a few of my favorite things from what she said.
Your passions arrive before the work does.
There is a colloboration even in the book you wrote yourself.
If you want to level up your leadership, you need to build your village (relational and professional).
You need two sets of people. People who give you roots that support and encourage and are a relational investment that gives you the courage to write. And people who give you wings who actually help you get things done and help you build the career.
When I was starting out, I had opportunities because other leaders got out of the way. Those smaller amounts were blessings in my beginnings.
Jeff Goins
Jeff Goins was another author I had not had the pleasure of knowing beforehand. What was interesting about his interview was that he is venturing into the ghostwriting arena, and he named some pretty big names who are ghostwriters as well, like Ryan Holiday. Some of my favorite advice from him was less about being a writer and more on how to be a mentee.
I end things so I can begin the next thing.
The best deadlines are honest deadlines.
Assume the future you is lazier than the current you and you will never be disappointed.
A question from Seth Godin that he uses, “Why can’t you just do it until it stops being fun?”
If you want to get into anything, you have got to fall in love with the word “yes”. Yes, I can do that and here’s how. And then find a way to make it work.
Any time you are meeting with someone who you preceive their time is more valuable than yours: 1. always take notes and 2. send an email immediately saying here is what I got out of the meeting. Then follow up once you have done it.
The only thing I know how to do reasonably well is not quit.
I’m free to succeed because I don’t need the success.
You cannot love something you are trying to control because control is about fear and fear and love does not go together.
Katherine Reay
Now Katherine Reay is someone I was familiar with. I read her book, The Printed Letter Bookshop. While I have no plans to be a traditional author in the sense of writing a book, I know if I ever do, it will most likely not be fiction, which is her genre. And while I didn’t get as much from her teaching as some of the others, it was interesting to see how she structures her week to get her writing done.
You cannot create and edit at the same time.
Get the words out as fast as you can on the paper without your editorial mind. Then go in and edit it.
Annie F. Downs
Annie F. Downs is one of the more prominent names (at least to me) that was one of the speakers. Her book, 100 Days to Brave, has been all over the place. Including my bookshelf even though I haven’t read it yet. She gave a lot of details on creative ways to get your books in people’s hands and how to start speaking. And while again, I don’t plan on being a book author or a speaker, it was great to learn the business behind her brand.
The actual thing you want to do forever is being you.
You need to have a thesis statement.
Every January make a yes or no list.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. (Psalm 16:6 CSB)
Not all callings are created equallly; not all personalities are the same. – Emily
Kelly Minter
Before this week, I knew that Kelly Minter was a Bible teacher, but I can’t remember where for the life of me I heard of her from. I am just going to assume social media right now because it doesn’t appear she was a speaker at the Enjoy God’s Word Bible Conference. The funny thing is, when I look at all the speakers and who I think I could closely relate to work-wise, it is Kelly. I love Bible reading and studying and could see myself one day doing a Bible Study. I may have been so wrapped up in what she was saying I didn’t take many notes. But she gave some pointers that I will share.
To get your insight, follow your questions and start digging. Look at the cross references before commentaries.
Look around at people who are already doing it well.
Be a student of Bible studies.
Use a pilot group to review your studies.
Michele Cushatt
Michele Cushatt is another author that I hadn’t heard of before her session. She wrote what appears to be a deeply personal memoir and touched on how to write about hard topics and when to share. This was especially important to me because my blog is personal, yet it is crucial to know what not to share with the world.
People don’t connect with perfection, they connect with pain
It’s always the right time to write; it’s not always the right time to share.
When trying to determine how much to share, ask yourself the following: What’s my objective? Who is my audience? How much time do I have? What parts of my story is necessary to my objective’s? Do I have permission to tell this?
Ashlyn Carter
YouTube introduced me to Ashlyn Carter a while ago but more so because of her planning and productivity videos. I knew she was a writer, but that isn’t the content I paid attention to. Man, oh man, did I waste my time. I learned the most information from Ashlyn’s session. So much so that it’s been hard to break it down to a couple of lines like the others. Ashlyn is a copywriter, and I realized that gave her a unique insight into the blogging world, social media captions, and newsletters. All things I would love to learn about and get better at. There was just so much information that I am hoping to put into practice right away. And I have immediately subscribed to her YouTube channel and can’t wait to binge-watch!
Use formula’s: Problem, Agitation, Solution
The word “YOU” can be so powerful.
Listen to what people want and then say it back to them.
Facts don’t care about your feelings.
Alright, I am going to end this post here cause it’s getting long! Stay tuned for the final post outlining the other speakers and teachers!
*All images from Hope*Writer’s website and emails.
God and openly gave Him praise. Then I started to think about some of the advice I’ve been given throughout our marriage. What worked and what didn’t work. I thought about the research I did when I was struggling and what I found and what I didn’t find. One of the things that I did not see was someone that was in the middle of difficulties and what they did. So many people gave advice multiple years removed from their struggles. The frustrating part would be, when they reminisced about having a difficult time, but couldn’t tell you how they overcame them. I vividly remember only two people that were able to give me advice on what they did (I will mention that these two people, we look to as wise counsel, and they have sat with us multiple times, mostly individually). So after talking to Chris about that, I told him I wanted to share our “in the middle.” He gave me his blessing, and I believe, that, and the fact that this even popped into my mind, was God’s way of saying do it. I will say this will obviously be written from my perspective and thoughts. Chris will read it before it’s published (as he does any post where he is mentioned, or the information may be sensitive to us – like when finance was my topic). My goal is to write in such a way that I don’t have to remove anything.
Now, some advice that I have been given a bunch of times was I can’t change Chris. And I tried to—a lot. I fought against this advice because I wasn’t the problem. He was, and he had all types of issues to work out. It took me a while, but I realized that this was toxic thinking. Because I was trying to make myself out to be perfect. I was also speaking horribly over my life partner. And let’s be real, the problems in our marriage, clearly showed that HIS issues were really OUR issues. So all of the years, I spent trying to get him to change was wasted. Because guess what? You can’t change another person. Well, you kind of can, but we will get to that in a second. But one thing you can for sure change is yourself. Give me a moment to explain because if you were like me, you are probably yelling at your screen, saying, “I am not the problem!”
allowed to come into my spirit. I wasn’t listening to secular music. I wasn’t watching movies with a bunch of cursing and sex scenes. But I want to be clear that although this is something that God convicted me on, it ended up helping me find me and what I enjoyed again. I also focused on how each thing could be applied to my life and what changes I could make because of what I was taking in. This became a big part of why I created this blog and what I try and showcase. How I saw things and thought about things was changing. What I worried and stressed over was changing. And then I realized, maybe how I was handling my marriage was wrong. So my prayer became, God, how can I become the wife you need me to be for Chris? I finally realized that Chris wasn’t going to change. But I could. I was already starting to see what focusing on me was doing. What would happen if instead of doing this for me, I did it for my marriage? My relationships with others? My community? I started to focus on being a better person for others after I took the time to focus on me.
Now our marriage didn’t magically become better. I had moments where I slipped up. Things were still pretty rough. But after one particularly bad argument, we were told to do somethings that I think added to the work I was already doing. We were told to do a daily devotional together. And for Chris to pray out loud for me every day. We were giving some other things to do, but those two things are what we were told to start with that we are currently doing. We are doing the Kingdom Marriage Devotional by Tony Evans (I’m also reading the book on my own). The devotional is formated in a brief 1 1/2 page devotional, three application questions, and a prayer. Specifically, the questions have allowed us to be open and honest and communicate with each other about things that are important to our marriage. Things that we had long forgotten about or just didn’t seem relevant to each other. This paved the way for conversations that came from our answers, us sharing our concerns, and just being able to talk again. It was a safe space to say, “this is the problem I have, and I would like to work through it.” We always add to the prayer that Dr. Evans gives and try to cover things that we spoke about in our answers. Chris also prays over me before he leaves for work. This has made me feel loved and appreciated. We have started to dream again and talk about goals. The important part is we are back communicating.
the right order to things (thanks to the book). My husband had to come under submission to Christ as the head of our household. Not saying that wasn’t done previously, but it wasn’t done with intentionality and wholeheartedly. At the same time (and that part is essential), I had to come under the submission of my husband. Now I have always believed in the husband being the head of the household. But my actions didn’t always show this. I mentioned I was a strong-willed and driven person. So I thought I knew best and didn’t honestly want to hear my husband’s opinion. This was wrong in so many ways, but mainly because we are in a partnership, and I shouldn’t discount his thoughts and suggestions. I was, also, 100 times nicer and more accepting of other people’s views and opinions outside my home. But what I have learned from this is, the more I come under actual submission under Chris, the more apparent it is that we really are in this together. He isn’t trying to rule me. He listens to my ideas, and we, as a couple, create a solution.
Changing my thought life and what I speak, also helped a ton. I wrote about 
Lastly, it is important to give praise and honor to God for what He is doing in our marriage and our lives. I make it a point to thank Him daily (multiple times a day really) for what He is doing. Even if that particular day was terrible, I still thank Him for the work He is doing in our marriage and lives. This frequently leads to me being thankful for other things and talking to God about what He is doing and His attributes. I never want to forget who it was that made this happen. Who allowed us to be able to do the work. I know for me specifically, when I turned to build my relationship and foundation with God, and then when we brought Him into our marriage, mountains moved. And to think, it started with me realizing that no, I couldn’t change him, but God could if He saw fit. Thank God that He ended up changing us both.
